


Drop Kicked by God

by RackOnInNC



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst and Humor, F/M, Gen, Hurt Castiel, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-06-08
Updated: 2012-12-02
Packaged: 2017-11-07 05:58:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 43,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/427686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RackOnInNC/pseuds/RackOnInNC
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>Title:</b>Drop Kicked by God<br/><b>Category:</b> TV Shows » Supernatural<br/><b>Author:</b> RackOnInNC<br/><b> Rated:</b> M<br/><b>Genre:</b> Hurt/Comfort/General<br/><b>Originally Published:</b> 05-24-11<br/><b>Words:</b> 44,911 (so far)</p><p><b>Summary:</b>  Set after the events of 6x22 and ignores Season 7. Slightly spoilery if you haven't seen 6x22. Dean, Sam, Bobby, and Castiel...maybe a few others I won't reveal so as not to spoil it. No slash. Rated for some not too graphic heterosexual sexual situations and some profanity.  It appears that my italics have not copied over so there are a lot of <i>thoughts</i> that are not apparent. As soon as I get everything over here I'll go back and fix that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Drop Kicked by God

"I'm your new God…a better one...so you will bow down and profess your love unto me, your Lord...or I shall destroy you."

Dean heard those words and looked at Castiel in shock, but that was the last thing he, Sam or Bobby remembered before they saw another blinding light and found themselves back in Bobby's living room. Months had passed with no sign of their new God, so Dean was beginning to wonder if their new God had done exactly the same thing the old God had done and Castiel was sitting on a beach somewhere sipping rum out of a coconut. He couldn't picture it.

Life had gone on as usual…same hunts…same monsters. It was if the War in Heaven had never happened, and Dean started thinking that maybe it was all just one big Trickster prank. Did it really happen? Did Castiel really go dark side? He was sitting at Bobby's kitchen table going over it all for the millionth time and trying to make sense of it when his phone rang. He looked at the caller ID and saw it was the Hospital not far from Bobby's. Thinking back to that other call from a hospital after Castiel went AWOL he cautiously answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"Is this Dean Winchester?"

"Could be…who wants to know?"

"My name is Karen, I'm a nurse at the hospital and we have a John Doe patient here. The only thing we could find in his clothing was a piece of paper with your name and phone number on it. Dark hair, blue eyes, about 5' 11", maybe mid- thirties?"

Dean's mind raced…of course that was Castiel, but with everything that had happened he wasn't sure he wanted to even be around him. In those final days Dean had completely turned his back on him. If he had any faith in Castiel at all maybe the souls wouldn't have affected him. No! It wasn't all my fault. Castiel should have come to us…let us help.

"Sir? Mr. Winchester? Are you there?"

Dean shook his head, realizing he had completely zoned out and turned his thoughts back to the phone call.

"Yes, I'm here. Is he OK? How long has he been there?"

"He's been here about 3 weeks. Wouldn't let us call you, but we are ready to release him in the next few days and he needs somewhere to go since he won't be able to take care of himself for a while."

"Why not? How bad is he hurt?"

"Well I can't discuss that over the phone…in fact I shouldn't have called you to begin with since he didn't want us to, but we were out of options. We'll need to see some proof that you are family before I can release any details."

"I'm not sure…I mean…yeah he's ours I guess…we just weren't on good terms when he disappeared."

"So you will or will not take responsibility for him? We'll need to get a Social Worker involved if not."

"Can I call you back? I'm not the only one involved here. We need to discuss it first."

"I understand. Just call the 5th floor Nurses desk and ask for Karen."

"I'll get back to you later today."

Dean put the phone down on the table and rubbed his face with his hands. What the hell do I do now? He dreaded talking to Sam and Bobby since Cas had crossed both of them on those last days. He pushed the chair back and walked to the kitchen to grab a glass. It was 8 o'clock in the morning, but he needed a drink. Just as he poured the scotch into the glass Sam walked up, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

Sam was doing remarkably well considering Castiel broke the wall, but still had moments were Dean could see the effects clearly. The house was never quiet at night, because every dream was now a nightmare for Sam. Dean was pretty sure whatever he had experienced in hell was like a weekend at the beach compared to what Sam had gone through in the cage. He was also fairly certain that he would not have been able to survive what Sam had to deal with. That made his next words difficult.

"Uh, Sam…we need to talk about something."

"I'm not in the mood to talk about it."

"Not that. It's Cas…tiel."

"What about him? Fucking dickwad."

The look of disgust on Sam's face almost stopped him, but he knew they had to get through this one way or another.

"He's here…in the hospital."

"I hope somebody kicked his ass clear to Purgatory." Sam said forcefully.

"I think somebody did from what they told me."

"Don't really care."

"Look Sam, I know he did some bad things, but haven't we done all those same things at one time or another?"

"You're sticking up for him? After what he did to me…to Bobby…to you?"

"Not exactly. I'm still pissed off, but I've been thinking about it a lot and I think we do have some responsibility in this whole thing."

"And you think going to his rescue is going to fix it all?"

"No, but how many times did he stick out his neck and save us in the past year when he could have just let us die? His master plan would probably have gone off without a hitch if he just let us die."

Sam's expression softened slightly and he shrugged. "I guess you're right, but I still don't like the idea of him being here all the time. I'm not sure I'm ready for that."

"Ready for what?"

Dean looked up to see Bobby coming out of his office where he had probably fallen asleep at his desk the night before. "Castiel…he's…"

"I don't give a shit about Castiel."

"He's in town…in the hospital."

"So?"

"So, they called to see if I could come get him. My name and number were written on a piece of paper in his pocket…the only clue they had."

"So you are just going to forget everything he did and swoop in and save him?" Bobby said, a look of disbelief on his face.

"As I said to Sam, how many times did he save our asses in the last year when he could have just let us die? And anyway if he's in the hospital I'm guessing he's human again now…no threat to us."

"What about all the other people he pissed off? Crowley? God? Angels? Everything in Purgatory? What if they come after us 'cause we help him?"

"I'm guessing here, but if he's still alive then I'd say the danger has passed. Surely whoever wanted to would have had an easy time picking him off if they wanted." Dean said weakly, realizing Bobby was probably right.

"Maybe they just didn't know where he is."

"Possible, but something in my gut is telling me to do this."

Bobby rolled his eyes at Sam and continued on into the kitchen, repeating Dean's motions of getting a drink. Sam followed closely and joined in. They stood there for several minutes just drinking and looking at each other. Dean finally broke the silence.

"I'm gonna go get him. I think I have to do this. I'll get a room one of those monthly suites up the street so you guys don't have to deal with it. They're gonna call in a Social Worker if I don't…and that could bring up a whole new set of problems if he starts telling them weird shit. Maybe once I see what is going on I can find some place for him to go without you guys having to get involved."

Bobby looked at Sam and then at Dean. "Whatever you feel like you have to do. I know you'll do it anyway. If you want to bring him here you can."

"I'll get the room. Maybe if we ease everybody into it…including Cas? He doesn't know I'm coming I don't think, so he may be just as uneasy about it as we are."

Before anybody could talk him out of it he turned on his heel and grabbed his keys off the table. "I'll call and let you know what's up as soon as I can."

On the way to the hospital Dean's thoughts ran wild and he almost turned around and went back home, but he couldn't get past the feeling that something was pushing him into doing it. "God, are you up there? What am I supposed to do?" He didn't expect an answer and he didn't get one, but he continued on, completely forgetting to call that nurse back and let her know he was coming.

He sat in the parking lot of the hospital for 15 minutes trying to work up the courage to go in. What would happen? How bad was Castiel hurt? He shook his head and made his way through the cars to the front door. Walking quickly through the lobby he realized he wasn't watching where he was going when he ran into a man on crutches and nearly knocked him down. Reaching to grab the guy's arm to keep him from toppling over he finally looked up into wide blue eyes. "Hey dude, I'm sorr…Cas?"

After he was sure Castiel wasn't going to fall over he stepped back and wondered what to do next. Castiel just stood there shaking and didn't say anything, looking down at the floor.

"You OK Cas?"

Castiel shook his head and turned on his crutches to continue in the direction he was originally headed. Dean followed as he made his way slowly across the lobby and sat down slowly in one of the guest chairs with a wince of pain. Dean sat down beside him and stared at his hands.

"So, Cas. They called me. Do you want me to take you home?"

Castiel shook his head again and pointed to the elevators, then showed Dean 5 fingers.

"What's wrong? Can't you talk?"

"Jus go..tal to them."

At Castiel's slurred words Dean looked up, finally taking in everything about him. The left side of his face was covered in healing bruises, and a scar along his jaw line was still red and angry. He seemed smaller than before, almost fragile. A huge cast covered his right leg from toes to hip judging by the huge lump under the sweatpants he was wearing.

"Jeez Cas, what happened to you?"

Castiel showed him 5 fingers again and pointed. "Jus go?"

Dean got up and touched Castiel on the shoulder and he flinched away. "I'll be right back. Don't move."

Making his way across the lobby to the elevators he hit the 5th floor button and looked back at Castiel. Am I doing the right thing here? Who in the hell did that to him? The elevator came and he rode up with hundreds of horrible scenarios flitting through his mind. He asked at the desk for Karen and she came out to speak with him. He pulled out an old fake ID he had made for Castiel and showed it to her.

"I'm Dean Winchester. Your John Doe is my brother Jimmy Winchester."

"He's gone downstairs for a walk, but should be back shortly. I'd prefer it if he was here when we talk."

"Yeah, I ran into him downstairs…literally. He didn't want to come back up. Told me to come up here."

"He's only been up and around on the crutches for a few days, so he probably just needed to rest. I guess we can discuss it without him. Wait? You said he told you to come up here? How?"

"He motioned at the elevator, gestured five and said 'Just go talk to them'. Why?"

"That would be the first time he's spoken to anyone. Wouldn't attempt to say anything to any of us."

"What do you mean attempt?"

"His jaw was shattered. We had to fix it with plates and screws and then wire it shut. He hasn't been willing to try to talk until now."

"So that's why his speech was slurred. I was worried it was something worse."

"His CT scan came back normal, so we don't think there's any kind of brain damage. We weren't sure though since he came in with no brain activity at all."

"Not the first time." Dean had to chuckle at that and realized it was the first time he had laughed at all in months.

"What do you mean not the first time?"

"Nothing, just a previous hospital stay…a family in joke."

"Well, aside from the jaw, his leg was broken in three places and he had several broken ribs, one of which punctured a lung. Do you know how it happened? He looked like someone had run over him with a truck when he was brought in. They were about to declare him DOA when they started to see some flickers of brain activity."

"I have no idea. We last saw him a couple of months ago. Do you know where he was found?"

"Out on the highway near Singer Salvage. A jogger found him in the ditch about a half mile from there. You know where that is?"

"Yes…I'm…uh…familiar." So was he trying to get back to us or did whoever did this put him there on purpose?

"Maybe you can find out more from him now that he's talking."

"Uh...yeah…Maybe. When can he go home?"

"Probably tomorrow. You might want to go the medical supply and get some things first. A wheelchair would make things easier on him. Even though he's using the crutches those ribs are still healing so it causes some pain. We just didn't want him to leave here without knowing how to use them. He was sort of clueless about it like he's never been on them before."

"Clueless….yeah that would describe my Ca-Jimmy. No, I can assure you he's never had to use crutches before." Dean winced and hoped she hadn't heard his near slip, but she continued on.

"A hospital bed would probably make things easier as well, but that's up to you and him."

"I'll go talk to him and see what he wants to do…he may not even want to leave with me."

"Well, you need to decide since we have to release him soon one way or another."

"He looks awfully beat up still to be released."

"Well if you go talk to the office and give them his actual insurance information the answer might be different, but he'll be released to a Social Worker and then into a Convalescent Home if you don't take him. Here he comes now…you can go down to his room and talk. It's room 566."

Dean watched as Castiel hobbled down the hall looking sad and defeated. He walked down to meet him and tried to meet his eyes, but Castiel would not look up.

"Cas, let's get you to your room and talk about this OK?" He grabbed a wheelchair from the row along the wall and gestured to it. Castiel shook his head and continued slowly down the hall and into his room. He stood there leaning heavily on his crutches as if he didn't know what to do.

"Come on Cas, I'll help you into bed OK?"

"No."

"No what? You don't want help or you don't want the bed?"

"Don wan any of this. Jus wan die."

"You don't mean that Cas."

"Desewe it."

"No Cas, you don't deserve it."

Dean hadn't noticed that Karen had entered the room and was standing behind him.

"I thought his name was Jimmy?"

"Uh…it is…Cas is a childhood nickname. Sorry."

She smiled at Cas and guided him to the bed, taking his crutches and helping him into bed. "I'm glad to hear you can talk, Cas. Can you say something to me?"

"Tank you. Nice."

"You're welcome. You're nice too." She handed Cas a pad of paper and pencil that was on the bedside table and looked at Dean. "This is how he's been communicating with us so that might make it easier. I'll be at the nurses' station if you need me."

After she left Dean closed the door and pulled the chair up to the bed. Castiel still wasn't looking at him.

"Who did this to you?"

Castiel threw the pad on the floor and turned away.

"Come on Cas…I'm making an effort here and I don't have to. Just talk to me? Who did this to you?"

Castiel turned and looked up, meeting Dean's gaze for the first time. "God."

"You mean THE God?"

Castiel nodded slowly and looked down at his hands.

"So you were too big for your britches and got drop-kicked by God?"

The familiar head tilt and confused look that Dean hadn't seen in ages made Dean start laughing and he couldn't stop. That elicited a bitch-face from Castiel that Sam would be proud of. He turned away again and refused to say anything else.

"Look Cas, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to laugh." Dean said, trying to look sympathetic. "You're embarrassed about it aren't you?, Dean continued. "I get that. It's like when I took one of Dad's shotguns without his permission when I was five. I took it out in the yard and tried to shoot it and it kicked back and knocked me on my ass, broke my arm, and left a trail of buckshot down the side of the Impala. Dad found me and kicked my ass for good measure. Dads are like that."

"Noh th same."

"OK in your case a much grander scale maybe, but it's the same idea. I took something that was too powerful for me and used it…it did damage. You did the same and your Dad kicked your ass just like mine did…in this case to kingdom come."

"Dint haf to take my Gwace."

"He's teaching you a lesson. Just roll with it. Maybe he'll give it back. He obviously didn't take it all since you aren't brain dead."

"Jus enouf to heal tha…noh tis oter shit."

"Did you just say shit?"

Castiel nodded and Dean thought he saw a small upturn of Castiel's lip. At least the frown was gone even if it wasn't a real smile. Close enough for Castiel.

"Better watch that cussing…Dad will come kick your ass again. Now let's get you out of here, OK?"

Castiel nodded and Dean went out to let them know he was taking responsibility. He was still pissed about the events leading up to this and not sure where it was all headed, but he knew he couldn't leave Cas like this to fend for himself as a human. Even though God hadn't answered his prayer in the car, he was fairly sure He was the one pushing him to do this...especially after he found out who drop-kicked Castiel into next week. Castiel's Dad had work for him to do again. Making sure Castiel was OK and maybe even making sure he'd learned his lesson. That was a job he could do...after all he was an expert on Dads. Maybe this would also be a lesson for him, Sam and Bobby.


	2. A New Start

Dean arrived back at Bobby's with a lot on his mind. Taking care of Castiel in his current state would be hard and he wasn't really sure he was ready to be with him 24/7. He was encouraged by their talk, but still had doubts that he could ever feel the same way about Castiel again. He walked in the door to see Sam sitting on the couch.

Sam looked up as he walked in and then back to the book he was reading.

"So…um…I saw Castiel."

"And?"

"He's pretty messed up. God apparently decided to show up and teach him a lesson after we got zapped back here."

"Serves him right."

Dean sat down on the couch beside of Sam and sighed. "I don't know man, you should see him. He got a pretty good beat down. I think he got the message."

Sam looked up and closed the book. "So he's hurt, let somebody else take care of him. We've given enough."

"And he hasn't? Look maybe he got a few things wrong. Maybe he went too far…but he thought was doing it for the right reasons."

"The road to Hell is paved with good intentions." Sam winced as soon as he said it and Dean could see the pain in his eyes.

"Like you've never gone too far with something?"

Sam glanced at Dean…knowing he was talking about the Demon blood, and shrugged. "I guess you're right. I can't exactly welcome him with open arms, but I'll try. So how bad is he hurt?"

"Shattered jaw, leg broken in three places, a bunch of broken ribs and a punctured lung."

"Damn, that's brutal."

"God did a number on him for sure. Won't be easy taking care of him. His jaw is wired shut and he's on crutches."

"Angel of the Lord on crutches, huh?" Sam said, a slight smile playing across his lips.

"Yeah, but he isn't an Angel anymore. God took his Grace."

"You think maybe he'll give it back? So he can make good on that promise to fix me?"

Dean got up and took his coat off and laid it on the back of the couch. "Dunno, but I'm just wondering if there isn't a lesson in this for us too."

Sam snorted and said, "Like what?"

"Like forgiveness…like not giving up on family even when they've done something unforgiveable."

"He's not family Dean."

"Neither is Bobby."

"That's different. Bobby is…well…like a father. We've known him all our lives."

Dean sighed and sat back down. "It isn't different, Sam. Maybe we haven't known Castiel as long, but he's put himself on the line for us over and over again. Died for us twice. Once at the snap of your own fingers."

"But that wasn't me."

"Maybe not, but still. Just think about it OK?"

Dean got up and walked to the kitchen to get something to eat. After he had made a sandwich he sat down at the table to eat. Bobby came out of his office and sat down at the table.

"So did you overhear any of that?" Dean said looking at Bobby across the table.

"Most of it. I get that you want to help, but you have to realize that Sam doesn't have as much of a connection to Castiel as you do. Neither do I."

"I get that." Dean rubbed his shoulder where the imprint of Castiel's hand was burned into his flesh. "He saved you too Bobby."

"I know, but he also used me as a nuclear reactor."

"To save me and Sam."

"Point taken…some fatherly advice?" Bobby said, realizing that Dean was hell bent on helping Castiel.

"Lay it on me." Dean said, sitting back in his chair and taking a bite from his sandwich.

"Take it slow with Sam. He's got a lot going on with the Hell wall coming down. Maybe Castiel was just the catalyst and it would have happened anyway, but he's still going to want to blame someone for what is happening to him now. Cas is the closest target. Bringing him here will only make it easier for him to take his frustrations out on someone."

"That's why I was going to get the room. You think that will be good enough? If we just ease him back into the family gradually?"

"Maybe, but have you asked Castiel if he wants to be part of the family?"

"No." Dean said, the realization that he hadn't really discussed that part with Cas sinking in.

"Well, you get that room and work things out between the two of you. Then we'll see where we can go from there."

"OK. I guess I've got a few things to do to get ready. Need to go to the Medical Supply and pick up a few things…figure out how to feed him."

"You're taking on a lot. You sure you can do that alone?"

"He's not bedridden…just gimpy."

Bobby shook his head and got up from the table. "You'll do it no matter what I say. Just remember that if he's human there will be a lot of things he has to do that he didn't have to before. Things he probably doesn't know how to do."

Dean face fell in the realization that he was taking on much more than he had thought about. Feeding a man with his jaw wired shut would be the least of his worries. Jeez, what have I gotten myself into? Doesn't matter. I have to try.

"Thanks Bobby."

"For what? Making you realize you might be biting off more than you can chew?"

"Something like that."

Dean went grabbed his coat from the back of the couch and his keys from the table. "I'm going to get things set up for Cas. Don't wait up."

After checking into the Handicapped suite on the ground floor, he slipped the manager fifty bucks to move one of the beds out so he could have a hospital bed delivered from the Medical Supply and then realized he forgot to pack any clothes. Cas would need clothes too and a lot of other little things Dean had failed to think about before he jumped into this. How do you brush your teeth if your jaw is wired shut? Does he even know about shaving? Wait, he's been at the hospital for three weeks…they've probably done all that for him. Surely he knows by now.

Thoughts continued to race through his mind as he went back to Bobby's for his things. He decided he needed to make a list. He'd never remember everything otherwise. He sat down to write it out.

Things I need to get for Castiel

t-shirts  
sweatpants  
underwear  
shoes (what size does he wear?)  
coat  
toothbrush  
hairbrush  
razor  
deodorant  
hair gel (how does the Angel Hair of Doom always look so good?)  
food (need to think about what will go through a straw)  
straws  
books and movies (he'll need something to do)  
Cell phone  
See if Sam has an old laptop he can use, maybe he can help with research?

Dean looked at the list and figured that was enough to start, knowing that there would be other things he'd remember as they went along. He left Bobby's once again and went to Wal-Mart. Not a place he liked to go, but the best place to get all the stuff he needed quickly. His lips tightened into a grim line before he was able to escape the dreaded retail hell with everything on his list. Cas, I hope you appreciate this…next time you are coming so I won't have to endure this alone!

After depositing everything at the suite and making sure the newly delivered hospital bed was set up and had sheets on it, Dean went back to the hospital even though visiting hours were nearly over. As he exited the elevator he saw Cas sitting in the visitors lounge and went to sit next to him. Cas just gripped his crutches tightly and didn't say anything as Dean sat down.

"I've got everything ready for you. You want to go with me?"

"Not sure."

"Why?"

"Did bad things…Sam...Bobby…Lisa…Ben."

Dean's heart clinched as he thought of Lisa and Ben. He knew he did the right thing by having Castiel wipe their memories of him, but he still wondered if that would be enough to keep them safe since he remembered them. "We'll work through it Cas. Might take awhile, but we are gonna try."

"Afraid."

"Of what? Sam and Bobby? Me?"

"All."

"You won't have to worry about Sam and Bobby for a while. I got us a room near there, so it will just be you and me. Will that work?"

Castiel was quiet for a moment, a look of resignation on his face, and then he shrugged. "Have no where else to go."

Thinking back over the events leading to the opening of Purgatory, Dean began to realize just how much his actions…and those of Sam and Bobby had affected Castiel. They had basically disowned him, and then Balthazar was probably the last straw. If Castiel finally broke then they were partly to blame. How many times did Cas come to him and try to explain? And how many times did he just not listen? Dean had broken the first seal to bring on the Apocalypse…and now he saw he might as well have thrown the first punch that brought Castiel down to earth. Lost in thought Dean didn't realize someone was speaking to him.

"Mr. Winchester? Sir?"

Dean looked up to see Karen standing in front of him. "Sorry…um…lost in thought there. Call me Dean."

"Well Dean, I have Jimmy's discharge papers. We were going to wait until in the morning, but since you are here you can take him now if you want."

Dean looked over at Castiel, who was intently studying the patterns on the carpet. "Cas? It's up to you. Do you want me to take you home?"

Castiel replied without looking up. "Have no home."

"Yes, Cas…you do…with me."

Dean shrugged at Karen and stood up. "I'll need you to go over how to take care of him with me."

"I have already prepared a care sheet that should tell you everything you need to know. Just read over it and see if you have any questions. I've also listed his check up appointments there. He needs to come back next week to see if we can remove the wires and also check his leg. I'll be at the nurses' station when you are ready." She handed the papers to Dean and walked out.

Dean looked over the long list of things he would need to do for Cas and wondered again if he was getting in too deep. What is Cas gonna do if I have to go on a hunt? Will he be OK by himself? He looked down at Castiel and touched him lightly on the shoulder. "Come on Cas, let's do this."

Castiel looked up at him and he saw for the first time the depth of hurt in those eyes. They were somehow dimmer and lost in the lines that creased his face, looking older and tired. It was clear to him now that it was  
his job to fix it…find a way to redeem Castiel in his Father's eyes and set things right.

Castiel winced in pain and grabbed his ribcage as he tried to get up. Dean caught him and lowered him back into the chair. "Just wait here buddy, I'll go get a wheelchair."

"No…can do it."

"But you don't need to do it Cas. It's OK if you hurt. That's what I'm here for."

"Won't be there all the time. Have things you need to do…not look after me."

"Would you do the same for me?"

"Yes."

"OK then stop bitching. You are the patient…I am your nurse and that's my job for the next few weeks until you can take care of yourself."

"And then?"

"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. Hey, you are already talking better. Must be all the practice from bitching at me."

Dean smiled broadly down at Castiel to try to lighten the mood and thought he saw the beginnings of a smile. It wasn't like he had ever seen the man truly smile except for that Stoner Cas in his trip to the future. He was suddenly determined to get a real smile out of Cas if it killed him. He went out into the hall to grab the nearest wheelchair and got Castiel settled into it. "You wait here and I'll go see what I need to do to get you out of here."

Dean walked down to the nurses' station and motioned Karen over. "Does he have anything in his room I need to get?"

"What's left of his clothes after we cut them all off, and his shoes. That's it. Oh, and get that pad of paper. Toward the back he made some nice sketches he might want to keep."

"I didn't know he could draw."

"He's very talented. Could probably make some money at it. You should get him some proper art supplies. I brought in some pastels and charcoal I had to give him something to do to pass the time."

"Wow, well thanks for going the extra mile for him. I'm sure he appreciates it even if he never said so."

Karen glanced up at Dean and cocked her head to the side as if she were Castiel's twin. "Just take good care of him. He's gentle and kind and didn't deserve this. You should see him with the kids in the pediatric ward. He's been going up there everyday since he could get out of bed to play with them and draw them pictures. They really love him…and I know they'll miss him."

"Um…OK…well I've never really thought of him that way. Didn't know he was interested in kids."

"He just said if was his way of giving back…or wrote it for me anyway…wrote some lovely poems too." She looked up the hall to see Castiel rolling himself towards them and smiled, her eyes sparkling.

Dean looked at her and realized he was going to have to do some match-making. Cas, you sly dog…you've got the nurse all hot for you and you probably don't even know it.

"I'll keep that in mind…maybe bring him back to visit the kids." And you.

Just as Castiel reached them she wrote something down on a piece of paper and handed it to Dean, blushing slightly as she did so. "That's my cell number…you know…if you have any questions about  
his care once you get him home."

"Thanks…I'll take good care of him."

"I'll grab the bag with his stuff in it for you and take him downstairs while you bring the car around?"

"Sounds good."

Dean ran downstairs as fast as he could to get the Impala and hoped he could figure out how to get Castiel in the car with that cast on. Maybe across the back seat? As he pulled the car around he saw Castiel and Karen talking and she kissed him gently on the cheek. Castiel's eyes went wide and then he looked down at his hands. This wasn't going to be easy.

With difficulty Dean and Karen got Castiel situated in the back seat with his crutches, and then she handed him a bag containing some pill bottles. "I got his pain med prescriptions filled on the way  
down so you won't have to go out so late and do that. He's due to take them in about an hour."

"Thanks, that's a big help."

"You sure you can get him out by yourself when you get home?"

"I'll manage…I think."

"Just be sure to call me if you need anything. I...um...moonlight sometimes as a home nurse since they cut our hours back…so if you need help just ask."

Dean smiled and winked at her. "I'll keep that in mind."


	3. Not A Very Good Nurse

The ride back to the hotel was quiet, Dean didn't say anything and as he looked in the mirror he could see from the look on Castiel's face that he probably felt a little put out by being manhandled into the back seat none too gracefully. Getting him out would be a bitch.

After parking the Impala in front of the room he realized he was probably going to have to get a handicapped sticker until this was all over. First thing to put on the list that I forgot. He opened the door nearest Castiel's feet and ducked down to look at Cas.

"You ready to do this? Sorry about the getting in part. I'll get better at it I promise. Maybe if I just slide you across the seat?"

Castiel didn't look convinced, but handed Dean the crutches and sighed as he grabbed the good leg and pulled. His face contorted in pain, but Castiel was silent when his still healing ribs complained as he slid across the seat.

"Sorry buddy", Dean said as he watched Castiel clasp his arms around his sore ribcage.

Castiel groaned and slid himself the rest of the way out, then attempted to stand up. Dean stood back to give him some room to maneuver the unwieldy cast and to was too far away when he saw that Castiel was going to hit his head on the doorframe. As he reached out quickly to prevent it he lost his balance and fell against Castiel, sending them both crashing to the gravelly pavement below.

Castiel slumped back against the car and grimaced. "Noh verry good at being nurse."

Dean inspected his hands which were now covered in scrapes and then craned his neck to look at his right elbow, which was similarly marked. As he reached for the doorsill to pull himself up his shoulder bumped the crutches and they slid down to whack him on the head.

"Son of a bitch!"

Dean sank back down on the ground and slumped against the Impala beside of Castiel. Dean heard what sounded like a slight chuckle, and looked at over at the fallen angel to see the faintest trace of a smile on his lips.

"So me making a fool of myself is what it takes to get you to smile?" Dean said, chuckling softly at the predicament they were in.

Castiel's lips curled slightly again as he looked at Dean and enunciated as carefully as he could with a wired jaw, "Is somewhat entertaining."

"Well at least you are out of the car, now let's see if we can get you off the ground."

Dean got up and braced his foot against Castiel's good one to keep it from sliding on the gravel, then grasped his forearms to pull him up. He could see that it hurt, but Castiel did not complain as Dean hauled him to an upright position. As he bent to retrieve the crutches he looked up to see Castiel holding his jaw with one hand and steadying himself against the car with the other.

"Are you OK?"

"Huwts."

Dean handled the crutches over and went to unlock the door. "Let's get you inside and get those meds in you. Maybe that will help."

Dean hovered closely behind Castiel as he hobbled into the room and helped him onto the bed, which had been placed on the right side of the room. He leaned the crutches against the wall and winced as he saw Castiel grab at his ribcage again. "I know how that feels. Cas. It's a bitch."

Castiel's only response was a groan as Dean placed his leg into the sling above the bed. "Don't wan it up thewe."

"It needs to be up there, Cas. It's already swelling so you need to get it elevated."

"Noh conftable."

"I know Cas…believe me I know."

Castiel let out a huff worthy of a spoiled child and said, "Wha wou ou know abow it? Newer been huwt tis bad."

"I'll give you the shattered jaw Cas, but the ribs and the leg…yeah I've had those."

"Same ti?"

"Well no, but I can imagine."

"Cwutches?"

"Of course, Cas. You don't do what we do for a living and not get hurt…a lot. Just lie back and relax. Let me get your meds."

Castiel settled back, but Dean could tell he was far from relaxed. He watched Castiel squirm around trying to get comfortable out of the corner of his eye as he went to get a glass of water and the meds. Jesus, Dean. You're comparing Castiel's situation to a human being that's used to these things. Cas was a nearly invincible Angel and then freaking GOD, so give him a break!

In the short time he was gone, Castiel had managed to turn himself onto his left side facing away from Dean. Dean sat down on the bed, put the meds and water down on the nightstand and hesitantly extended his hand to rub the fallen angel's back. At first Castiel flinched away, but then relaxed as Dean continued to rub. "My Mom used to do this for me when I was sick or hurt."

It felt strange to be rubbing the back of a being that had declared itself God and threatened to destroy them only a few months back, but the bad feelings Dean had for him then seemed to fade further and further away with each rub. The hurt feelings continued to hovered at the edge of his consciousness though…just enough to start his mind wondering. Maybe I'm just feeling sorry for the poor guy. Should I really forgive him just because he's hurt? Sam and Bobby might be right to resist. If the real God had not intervened and kicked Castiel's ass would I still feel the same way?

After running everything through his mind several times, Dean suddenly realized that Castiel was snoring quietly and tried to get up as gently as possible. He moved quickly to turn out the lights and retreat to his own bed, the pain meds forgotten on the nightstand. He instantly regretted that oversight a few hours later as loud moans woke him. He jumped out of bed and covered the space between the beds as quickly has he could.

Even in the near darkness he could see Castiel's face was contorted in pain and Dean cringed as his eyes fell on the meds he had forgotten to earlier. I'm a shitty nurse. After switching on the light, he blinked at the sudden brightness and then grabbed the bottle of liquid and stared at it. What the hell is a ml? He looked up at Cas and shrugged.

"OK pills I get…what the hell is this?

Castiel pointed to his jaw and sighed, then pointed to the bag.

"Duh! Liquid 'cause of the jaw. Sorry Cas, I won't forget again."

After digging in the bag and finding some dosage cups in the bottom he measured out the right amount and handed it to Castiel, who swallowed it awkwardly and then sat there looking at Dean expectantly.

"Oh…sorry. Water. Jeez!" After handing him the water he realized they probably needed a rolling table. One more thing to add to the list. He stood there holding the water out and stared at the floor waiting for Castiel to take it. When he didn't, Dean glanced up to see a look of exasperation on Castiel's face.

"What?"

"Straw?"

Dean chuckled and blushed slightly as he realized what a crappy job he was doing. "I promise I'll get better at this, Cas."

"Doubt it."

"Hey, at least I thought to buy the damn straws!"

"Twue."

After digging through all of the bags from Wal-Mart he finally found the straws and handed the water to Castiel, and waited as he drank. "I'll call tomorrow and get you a table for by the bed. Anything else you need before I get back in bed?"

"Bathroom. Need t' pee."

It hadn't occurred to Dean that Castiel would need such a thing…after all Angels didn't sleep, eat…or pee as far as he knew. As he moved to help Castiel out of bed he wondered idly where the hell all that liquor went when Cas drank the liquor store. One more thing I forgot to take into consideration. As he watched Castiel swing himself slowly to the bathroom and close the door he wondered again what he had gotten himself into. He was taking on a lot and had failed miserably so far. I think I'll call Karen tomorrow…I need help.

The door opened and Castiel made his way slowly back to the bed, wincing after each step.

"Cas, I think we better be using that wheelchair tomorrow. Those ribs are never going to heal up if you keep punishing them like that."

Castiel stopped and leaned heavily on his crutches, nodding in exhaustion. He sniffed slightly and looked at Dean in confusion.

"What's wrong?"

"Nosh feel strange."

"Stopped up strange or tingly strange?"

"Tingy."

Dean closed the distance between them and put his hand on Castiel's forehead, which elicited another confused look.

"Oh shit, you're hot."

"Not hot…cold."

"I mean you are running a fever. You've probably caught a cold or the flu." Dean could see it coming by the panicked look in Castiel's eyes , but he had no idea what to do for him when the sneeze erupted. How do you sneeze when your mouth is wired shut? He probably doesn't know what a sneeze is!

Castiel's hands immediately went to this mouth and he groaned in pain, dropping the crutches and nearly falling. Dean caught him and held on as another sneeze came quickly after. He started to panic as he saw blood trickle from Castiel's mouth, but knew that he had to remain calm. He pulled Castiel's arm around his shoulder and helped him to the bed quickly and stood back trying to figure out what do. He glanced at his phone on the nightstand and decided it was time to call in reinforcements, even if it was the middle of the night.

Dialing Karen's number quickly he waited as it rang and sighed as it went to voicemail. "Karen, it's Dean. We need help. Cas is running a fever and he sneezed. I think he hurt his mouth…it's bleeding!" He started to pace and realized he should call 911, but just as he started to his phone rang.

"Dean…it's Karen. Where are you?"

"At the Suites Hotel out near Singer Salvage."

"Do you have some wire cutters?"

"Uh, yes…in the car. Why?"

"Get them…I'll be right there!"

Dean threw his phone on the bed and helped Castiel to lie down, then made a dash to the car. After rummaging amongst all the hunting paraphernalia he managed to find the pliers and started back inside as he saw Karen pull up. He handed her the pliers and followed her in, cringing as she carefully cut the wires holding Castiel jaw together. After a brief exam she turned to Dean with a stern look and said, "He's OK, but it could have been really bad. I gather you didn't bother to read the care sheet?"

"Um, yes? Well sort of. My brother and I get hurt a lot in our line of work. I figured I could handle it."

"And have you? Handled it I mean?" Grabbing the Care Sheet from the table she pointed to the fourth instruction down.

Dean looked down obediently and saw:

4\. Have a pair of wire cutters handy at all times, in the event of an accident or illness it may be necessary for you or emergency responders to remove the wires.

"I guess not. I'll read it all now."

Suitably contrite, Dean sank down on the bed and began to read as Karen continued, "Just be glad he only sneezed. If he had been throwing up he could have choked before you could get to the car to find them!"

"OK, OK, I get it. I suck as a nurse."

Karen's gaze softened as she turned back to Castiel, who was holding his jaw with both hands as if it might fall off. She took his hands and pulled them away gently. "Don't worry…it should be OK. Just don't try to move it too much at first. The wires were due to come out in a few days anyway. I'll see if I can get you an appointment tomorrow so they can check it though."

Dean watched as she lowered her voice and talked softly to Castiel. He couldn't hear what she was saying, but saw that whatever it was elicited a small smile before Cas blushed and looked away. As he looked back down at the Care Sheet and continued to read he realized that there were a million things that could go wrong and at least half off them were things he never would have considered needing to know. I'm partly to blame for this mess he's in and I'm slacking off on this too? Better get with it, Dean. Lost in thought for what seemed to be the thousandth time today, he looked up to see Karen standing in front of him and sighed.

"Yeah…I know. I'm not doing very good at taking care of Cas am I?" He held his hands out wide in a gesture of submission and winced when the scrapes on his hands and elbow complained at the sudden exercise.

Karen raised an eyebrow and said, "What happened there?"

"We…ah…I mean I took a little tumble getting Cas out of the car."

"He fell? Why the hell didn't you tell me? He could have reinjured something…or injured something else. Not like he isn't hurt enough already!" Karen yelled as she turned on her heel to go back to Castiel.

"I was trying to help him…he was standing up and was about to hit his head on the door frame…I reached out to stop it and lost my balance. It wasn't like I was trying to hurt him. I-I just thought if he was well enough to leave the hospital that I could take care of him." Dean sighed and flopped back on the bed, suddenly tired and disappointed in himself for failing so miserably on his first night with Castiel.

Castiel shot up from his reclining position on the bed, wincing at the pain in his ribs before saying, "Karen, Dean…please stop. I'm…fine. I really just want to sleep."

Dean sat up, looked at Karen and shrugged. Karen turned to Castiel and said, "We really should take you back to the hospital to get checked out if you fell."

Castiel shook his head and fixed both of them with an angry look. "I'm tired, I hurt, but I don't want to go anywhere! Now please just let me sleep?"

Karen reached out and laid her hand gently on Castiel's shoulder. "But you fell…and now you're sick we really should..."

Castiel sighed and interrupted her, saying, "Yes I fell…it's not the first time…is any of this likely to kill me before morning?"

"Well, no I guess not."

"Then both of you go away and let me sleep. You can drag me around and poke and prod at me at a later time." Castiel said, as he flopped back on his pillows and turned away from them.

Dean got up and walked to the bed intending to convince Castiel they should go, but stopped short when he thought about what Castiel had probably been through in the last few weeks. Hospitals weren't exactly known for letting you sleep and he was probably extremely frustrated by his inability to do anything after being a something like a God just a months ago. Poor guy probably just wants to be left alone.

Turning to Karen he said, "If you think he'll be OK, let's just let him sleep."

Karen turned to look at Castiel and sighed, the person wanting to give Castiel some space and the nurse wanting to make sure he wasn't further injured. "I'll probably regret this, but we'll leave him alone. I'll sleep on the couch just in case though."

Dean grabbed a pillow from the bed and said, "No you won't. I'll take the couch. You take the bed."

"If you insist. Let me get his leg elevated first…and give him something for the fever."

They both looked over in surprise when Castiel turned back towards them wielding one of his crutches and said, "Touch me again before morning and I'll use this for something besides walking…and stop talking about me like I'm not in the room!"

Dean had to stifle a laugh as the effect of Castiel's bravado was somewhat dampened by the sneeze and sniffle that followed, but he had made his point, and Dean knew it was a good thing that Castiel was taking matters into his own hands as much as he could. The defeated and compliant man that he had first seen at the hospital was hopefully gone and things could get back to normal soon… whatever normal was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Struggled with this one a bit, but finally made something out of it I hope. If the wired jaw bit makes you  
> squeamish just know that it does me too, since it actually happened to a friend of mine and I was the one  
> that had to take action. In my case it was the alternate scenario...eeeewwwww.  
> You'll see what I mean when you read it.


	4. A Dream Within A Dream

Dean was having a strange dream and somehow he knew it was a dream, but at the same time it felt very real. He was in the lab at where he had last seen the new god, yet he was watching things replay from Castiel's point of view. He felt a strange sensation and realized he was feeling the souls roil around inside himself. He reveled briefly in the sensation…a surge absolute power and pleasure that he could not liken to anything in his human existence.

The feeling was short lived as a surge blinding pain brought him to his knees and he felt the souls being violently ripped out of his body. The flash of light that followed blinded him, but he didn't need eyes to sense the power radiating from the other being that suddenly manifested itself in the room, ripping the Grace from his body as well.

God?

He struggled in vain to see what was happening. He knew his eyes were wide open, but they saw nothing but pure white until he found himself high above the earth…suspended above the clouds as if he were being held by his…wings? He could feel anger radiating from the hand that pinned his wings so painfully behind his back, but also sadness…regret…and love?

Dean twisted and turned trying to glimpse the face of God, but every move just brought more pain until he felt a sudden release and he was hurtling towards earth…his wings nearly useless without the Grace that powered them. He could feel Castiel's relief that it was over…the months of worry and loneliness were at an end. He could just let himself plummet to earth and it would all be over.

As the earth rushed closer he panicked, trying slow his fall as his wings burned away to ash. The feeling of relief turned into determination…to live if only as a human…to redeem himself…if not to God then to his friends. He needed a chance to repent for the lies and deceit. His fragile body slammed into the earth, but not nearly as violently as he expected. It was as if that same hand that had cast him down reached out to soften the blow…just enough to save his life. There was pain as his ribs cracked on impact, then he felt his leg and jaw shatter as he sank into unconsciousness.

Dean drifted in the blackness for a while, then realized he was no longer in Castiel's head. He saw a house in the distance…Bobby's? Why can't I wake up from this dream? He found himself walking among the junked cars and followed a curious sound. Squeak, thump, squeak, thump. The sound repeated over and over again until Dean rounded a corner to see Castiel standing in front of him whole and uninjured, staring off into the distance.

As Dean approached him the sound repeated…squeak, thump, squeak, thump...Castiel turned and mouthed the words, "I'm sorry". Dean reached out to Castiel and the junkyard dissolved around him as he heard a loud…sneeze?

Dean slowly shook off the dream and opened his eyes blearily to see Castiel slowly making his way back to his bed on his crutches…squeak, thump, squeak, thump. He sat up, suddenly realizing where the sound that permeated his dream came from. Those damn squeaky crutches.

Castiel regarded him seriously from his perch on the edge of the bed and said, "It's about time you woke up. I've been calling you for 10 minutes. What were you dreaming about?"

Dean looked over to the bed to see that Karen was already gone and shook his head to clear it. The clock on the bedside table said 6:00 AM. "I-I don't remember. When did she leave? Do we have to get up so early?"

Castiel tilted his head and looked at Dean curiously as if he knew what the dream was about before he said, "Karen left about an hour ago. She was due at the hospital, but made me promise I would come in later for a check up."

"You OK, Cas? I mean…I didn't hurt you last night did I?"

"I believe I am still in the same state of damage as I was before you tried to kill me last night." Castiel said as his mouth quirked into a small smile revealing the braces still on his teeth.

Dean flashed back to the nerdy dude with braces in high school and snorted at the attempted jab. "How's the cold?"

"Since I have never had a…cold before I am uncertain how to respond. I do not particularly like sneezing. It is rather unpleasant, and it hurts when your ribs are broken. However I believe I will…live."

"Well, at least you sound more like yourself. Jaw OK?"

"Tired, but surprisingly pain free."

Dean looked at Castiel gave him an evil grin before saying, "Ready for a cheeseburger?"

"Um…no. I will…ah try something else when I am able to eat solid food."

Castiel hoisted himself up onto the bed and groaned as he lowered himself to the pillows. Dean threw the covers back and covered the distance to Castiel's bed quickly. "Are you sure you are OK…can I get you anything?"

Castiel rubbed his ribcage gingerly and said, "No, I'm fine…just sore. Karen took care of my breakfast and meds before she left and helped me get dressed. I'll rest while you get ready."

"Ready for what?"

"To take me to the hospital of course."

"You really are going to go?"

"Yes, Dean. I've…learned my lesson about lying. I will go as I promised. You need not wait with me. I'm sure Karen will be there if I need anything." Castiel said as he looked up at Dean expectantly. He waited to see if the reference to lying would be noticed and deflated visibly when it seemed it was not.

"OK, maybe I'll go back to Bobby's for a bit. Talk to him and Sam about some things."

"Are you sure there was nothing of import in that dream?"

"I-no…well yes maybe. Can we talk about it later?"

"As you wish."

Castiel was asleep by the time Dean came out of the bathroom, so he quietly grabbed his phone and went outside to call Karen.

"Hey, it's Dean. I was calling to see when to bring Cas in." he said as he leaned back on the front fender of the Impala.

"Hey Dean. I had to pull some strings, but I was able to get his appointment with his Oral Surgeon moved up to today at 11:00 so he doesn't have to come back again this week and I managed to also get him in to see his Ortho at 1:00. Can you make that?"

"Sure. I've got some things to do. Can you make sure he gets lunch?"

"I had planned to anyway." Just give me a call when you get here and I'll come down and take him off your hands for a while."

"OK, he's asleep, so I'll let him sleep for a while and have him there about 10:30."

"Sounds good. Give me a ring when you get here. Oh, and I left you some Surgical Masks in a bag in the bathroom. Make sure you put one on Castiel before you get here so he won't be spewing too many germs."

Dean pocketed his phone and went back into the room as quietly as he could and flopped down on the couch. It felt surreal looking at Castiel in such a fragile state. He thought back on the dream and wondered if it was something his subconscious cooked up or something more. It was so real. The only way he was going to answer that question was to talk to Castiel about it. He wasn't quite ready to do that though, even though he could tell Castiel knew that something in that dream had made an impression on him.

He drifted off to sleep without realizing it and awoke with a start when a loud sneeze followed by a rather nasty cough came from Castiel's direction.

"That doesn't sound good dude."

Castiel groaned and swung his legs over the side of the bed with difficulty. He looked at Dean sadly and said, "I think I'll revise my earlier statement that I would live. This is highly unpleasant." "You sure you are up to the hospital visit?"

"Probably not, but if they will take the rest of this…crap out of my mouth I'll suffer through it. I just wish I wasn't sick so I could visit the kids."

"I forgot about that Cas, that was really nice of you to do that for the kids. I'll take you to the Hobby Store when you feel up to it if you want to get some art stuff."

"I'd like that."

Dean looked at the clock and saw that it was nearly 10:30 and got up to find the bag Karen left. He dug several of the masks out and went back out to find Castiel already standing near the door. "I was going to make it easy for you and take you in the wheelchair."

Castiel turned on his crutches and sighed before saying, "This is harder, but I prefer it to sitting helplessly in the chair. I had enough of that before they called you." He turned back to open the door and Dean almost missed the soft words that followed. "Thank you, Dean."

"Thank you for what?"

Castiel's hand hesitated as he reached for the doorknob, he hadn't really intended to say that out loud. "For…taking the call. You didn't have to, and I wouldn't have blamed you if you didn't."

"Cas…it's OK. I think…well…there was something in that dream. Can we talk about it later? You need to be at the hospital like…now!"

Castiel nodded and opened the door, managing easily to hold it open and swing himself through on his crutches as if it was something he did everyday. Dean had to give him props, he was making the most of a bad situation, taking it more in stride than most humans would in his place.

Dean followed to the Impala and started to help, but stepped back as Castiel handed him the crutches and waved him off. He watched as Castiel slid himself into the back seat, wincing at the pain in his ribs, but managing to get himself in without incident. Dean slid the crutches in and asked, "Why was this so much harder last night?"

"Because no one bothered to explain to me what you were trying to do when we left the hospital, and also because I hadn't done it before. I may be only human now, but I do have the capacity to learn…rather quickly if people don't assume I'm helpless and try to do everything for me."

Dean handed one of the masks to him and said. "Point taken. Put this on so you don't spread the plague to half the people in the hospital."

"I'm fairly certain that I do not have the plague."

Dean snickered and got into the car, meeting Castiel's eyes in the rear view mirror as he said, "Some things never change apparently. If you are such a quick study we need to work on your understanding of sarcasm, hyperbole, and idioms."

Castiel shot him a dirty look instead of a confused one…things were looking up!

Dean drove quickly to the hospital and handed Castiel over to Karen, watching as she wheeled him away. His earlier resolve to go talk to Sam and Bobby again faded as he turned to go back to the car. He was feeling pretty good about Castiel and their chances of patching things up, and he really didn't want to get into an argument with two people that weren't really ready to talk about it.

He started the car and drove out of the parking lot, heading in the opposite direction from Bobby's. He wasn't sure where he was going, but just drove until the shopping center containing the Hobby Store appeared. He decided to go in and see if someone could help him pick out some art stuff as a surprise for Castiel.

An hour later the trunk was filled with an easel, paints, brushes, and several pads of paper to go along with the pastels and charcoals that Karen had given him. A quick stop at the Office Supply yielded an adjustable drafting chair to make things easier for Cas on the bad leg without resorting to the wheelchair. Another quick stop at the Auto Parts store and he had the graphite lubricant he needed to stop the damn squeaking.

He arrived back at the hospital and went to the cafeteria, finding Castiel and Karen sitting at a table talking quietly. He didn't want to intrude, but Karen had already seen him so he continued on to the table, sitting down in the chair next to Castiel.

"Hi Dean. Castiel has good news!"

"And this good news is?"

Karen inclined her head towards Castiel who dutifully smiled awkwardly, revealing the lack of hardware.

"Wow…so no more soup?"

"Well, he needs to work up to solid good gradually, so no burgers and pizza just yet. Give him a few days with soft stuff and he'll be good as new. The doctor was amazed at his progress. He had thought he would need another few weeks, but everything seems to be almost healed. Miraculous considering how much damage there was."

Dean looked at Castiel cautiously and saw his eyes slide to his lap. Maybe there was more Grace in there than they thought. That didn't explain why his ribs were still sore after so many weeks though. It was definitely time for a talk when they got home. He quickly looked back at Karen and attempted to change the subject.

"So in honor of Cas' freedom from the hardware would you like to join us for dinner tonight?"

Karen looked at Cas and smiled. "I'd love to, but he'll probably be tired after such a long day being sick and all. Call me later when he can tell you if he's up to it."

"Will do."

Karen moved to get up and said, "Since you're here can you take him to the Ortho appointment?"

"No problem. I'll let you get back to work."

She waved and started to walk away, then turned abruptly and leaned in to plant a kiss quickly on Castiel's lips, leaving him gaping like a fish out of water. He blushed and looked quickly to Dean, wide eyes pleading for rescue as she pulled away.

Dean was at a loss to explain to her why the thirty-something dude she just kissed was acting like it was his first one. Yes, he had been kissed…and had done a admirable job returning the Demon Meg's kiss, but that was different. This was his first real kiss. What the hell do I say?

He sighed in relief as her pager went off and she looked at it quickly. Frowning she said, "Sorry to cut this short Cas, but I have an emergency upstairs."

Dean watched her leave and turned to see Castiel exhale sharply in relief. He laid his hand on top of Cas' and said, "We'll talk about that later too. She's got the hots for you."

"I-I…it's not like the pizza man is it?"

"No Cas, I don't think she's expecting you to slam her up against a wall…but I could be wrong about that." He winked at Castiel and watched him squirm for a second before squeezing his hand and saying "I'll walk you through it…if you want?"

"I don't know. What could she see in such a damaged…man?"

"She likes you…I think you like her too. Just go with it. It's not like you have to propose marriage tonight or anything."

"What if she wants…intercourse? I am not sure I will know what to do."

"We'll talk about that later, somewhere more private. We'll rent a movie that's not porn…maybe that will help. Anyway you're sick…that'll give you an excuse for a few days while I get you up to speed!"

Castiel swallowed hard and took a deep breath, finally relaxing a little. Dean looked up at the clock to see that it was nearly 1:00 and said, "Time to go to one more Doctor. Let's get this over with."

Dean sat in the waiting room as Castiel went back to have X-Rays taken. He hoped the news was good, but at the same time they didn't need any unnecessary attention if his leg was healing as fast as his jaw. The nurse came out to get him and he relaxed as he sat at in the Doctor's office listening to the report. The leg was healing nicely and they would put him in a walking cast today …crutches for another week or so…then back for a check up in three weeks. No mention of miracle healing speed though.

After waiting for the new cast to be applied Dean watched as Castiel carefully placed his bad foot on the floor and took a step, smiling broadly, even though he was still taking most of the weight on his crutches. Well, damn I was hoping something else would make him smile for real, but I guess your first step is a pretty good reason to smile when you were nearly dead a few weeks ago.

Once they were in the car on the way home Dean looked at Castiel in the rear view mirror and asked the question he had been dreading.

"Cas, what's with the fast healing jaw? I thought your Angel mojo was gone."

"I don't know Dean. I can feel no Grace within me. I am as surprised by it as you are."

"Why the jaw and not the leg…or the ribs?"

"My Father? I can't feel his presence, but that's the only thing I can think of. He did this to me…indirectly…why would he want to help heal it? And why not just restore me completely as he did before?"

"I guess we shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth."

Castiel nodded and pursed his lips. "Maybe he thought I needed my mouth back, so I could talk to my friends...to you?

"Maybe so...wait…you understood the gift horse thing?"

"Yes, Dean…it's a rather old saying, not one of your modern references. Horses' teeth get longer and project further out as they get older. In earlier times the first thing someone would look at when buying a horse was its teeth to determine the age and relative value. If someone gave you a horse you accepted gracefully, not looking to determine the value of the gift. This is also the basis for the saying long in the tooth… in reference to someone being older."

Dean laughed as he saw Castiel in the rear view looking at him triumphantly, one eyebrow cocked. "OK Mr. Spock, thanks for the lesson."

"Who is this Spock? I've heard him mentioned before."

"I think we need to get some movies to watch while you're laid up."

"Why would movies help?"

"To introduce you to Mr. Spock. I think you'll find he's a kindred spirit…and maybe a different movie to help with your lady problem."

Castiel blushed and began to fidget with his crutches, so Dean drove on in silence instead of pushing his luck on the subject of Karen. The conversation about the dream could wait too.


	5. Best Laid Plans

Castiel was asleep by the time Dean pulled into the hotel parking lot. He turned off the ignition and just sat there, not wanting to wake him up, but a sneeze soon interrupted his sleep anyway.

After settling Castiel in for an afternoon nap, Dean sat on the couch thinking about how to approach Sam and Bobby. They hadn't even called to find out how things were going, and he took that to be a bad sign. Looking back over the events of the last few months, Dean could understand why Castiel did what he did, and why he didn't involve them. He jumped when his phone vibrated in his pocket and pulled it out, seeing Karen on the Caller ID. The opened the door quietly slipped outside to answer the call.

"Hi Dean, it's Karen. I'm sorry to bother you, but I need to tell you something. I should never have given you the impression I was interested in Cas…and I especially shouldn't have kissed him today."

"Why? Are you married or something?"

"No, nothing like that. I-I'm dying. Cancer. I don't…I shouldn't lead him on if I'm not going to be around. He's too sweet to hurt like that."

Dean wasn't sure what to say and he hesitated before replying.

"Dean…I'm so sorry. I just thought…well…I just wanted some companionship before I go."

"Karen…I'm not sure what to tell you, but I do know it could be OK. I can't tell you why, but just talk to him about it. He might be OK with it…I mean the companionship part…not the dying part. Cas would want to know." Dean said, so intent on the call he hadn't noticed the door opening and Castiel standing behind him.

"I would want to know what?" Castiel said, nonchalantly using one of his crutches to draw a sigil in the gravel.

Dean jumped and turned, finding Cas invading his personal space as usual. "How the hell did you get out here without me hearing you?"

"You were rather engrossed in the conversation. It wasn't very difficult. I was not trying to be particularly stealthy…not that I could be in my current condition." Castiel said, gesturing at his casted leg.

Shaking his head at the fact Castiel could get the drop on him even when he was a rather badly injured human, Dean realized that he had left Karen hanging.

"Sorry Karen, Cas just walked…well whatever you call it he's doing these days…into the conversation."

"How much did he hear?" Karen said, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly.

"Probably everything since he seems to be a Ninja on crutches." Dean said, grinning briefly in Castiel's direction before becoming serious again.

"Well, tell him…oh hell…I don't know. I was just going to tell you and try not to see him anymore. I haven't even thought about how to tell him."

"I think you have to now."

"OK, I'll be there after my shift ends at 5:30."

Dean started to say something else, but Karen had already ended the call and he turned back to face Castiel again.

"So, how much did you hear?"

"Enough, but I already knew." Castiel said, a sad look crossing his features briefly.

"How?"

"The small amount of Grace I had when I first arrived at the hospital allowed me to see it…when they thought I was brain dead." Castiel said, pursing his lips thoughtfully.

"Why didn't you say anything to her?" Dean said, touching Castiel gently on the arm.

"How could I? She would have wondered how I knew, and I didn't want to raise any suspicions. I can't heal her now and probably wouldn't have been allowed when I was an Angel, so it would have been pointless." Castiel said sadly.

"Pointless right up to the part where she got the hots for you."

"I did not anticipate that…which is why I feel so badly that I may not be able to give her what she wants."

"Why not, Cas? It's not rocket science. You'll know what to do when the time comes."

"Yes, but in my current state of injury, it would be…difficult…even if I knew what to do." Castiel said, rubbing his ribcage with one hand and shifting uncomfortably on his crutches.

"She may not want anything more than a little companionship. If it becomes more then we can improvise. I never let a full leg cast or crutches stop me. The ladies seem to like to take care of hurt guys." Dean said, tilting his head toward Castiel with a suggestive eyebrow wiggle.

Castiel blushed and dropped his eyes to stare intently at the sigil he had drawn in the gravel. Dean suppressed a laugh and put his hand gently on Castiel's shoulder.

"Just talk to her, she'll be here after her shift. We'll take it from there. I'll make myself scarce tonight if you want…go to Bobby's or something?"

"No!" Castiel exclaimed with a panicked look on his face, then lowered his voice to a whisper when he realized they were still standing in the parking lot and several other guests were walking by. "You can't leave me alone with her…what if she..well…"

"No worries, Cas. I'll stay here, but if you want me to leave all you have to do is ask. Now let's get you back inside. You need to rest and probably shower before she gets here…and put on some nice clothes."

Dean moved to the door and held it open as Castiel made his way in, collapsing tiredly on the couch.

"Don't you want to take a nap, Cas?" Dean said, seeing that Castiel was exhausted and his color wasn't very good.

"I do, but can I just lie here? I'm really tired of hospital beds…the couch is seems more…normal."

"Of course, Cas. Anywhere you want. How is the cold? I haven't heard much sneezing or coughing this afternoon."

"I feel…weak…and I ache all over…but I am not certain whether that is just my injuries or the cold. It's been so long since I felt any other way I don't remember anything else." Castiel said, leaning back and hugging his ribcage in a very human manner.

The forlorn look on Castiel's face tugged at Dean as he walked over to the bed and to get some pillows.

"Here, let's prop your leg up and you can sleep for a few hours before Karen gets here." Dean said as he stacked the pillows on the end of the couch.

Castiel winced as he pulled his leg up onto the pillows with his hands, but Dean stood back, realizing that he probably just wanted to do something on his own. Placing a pillow behind Castiel's head he then sat down on the floor and watched as Castiel reluctantly sank into it and closed his eyes.

"We'll get through this, Cas. I promise you'll feel better soon."

His only answer was a soft snore as Castiel was asleep almost instantly. After grabbing something to eat from the kitchen Dean got out Sam's old laptop he had brought with him, and started looking for catering places. The least he could do to help the star-crossed potential lovers along would be to have a meal delivered. After arranging a romantic dinner complete with candelabra and fine china he turned his attention to something for Castiel to wear.

There wasn't much to choose from in the things he had brought, and getting anything except sweatpants on over Castiel's leg cast would be difficult. He pulled up a chat window and saw that Sam was online. Typing slowly, he sent a message:

**Dean_W:** _Need help. Castiel has a date tonight. Need some pants that will fit over his cast and a nice shirt and tie._

**Sam_W:** _Castiel has a *date*? Jeez Dean, you expect me to help with that? I really don't want anything to do with him._

**Dean_W:** _Look I know you don't want to…just go upstairs in the closet in Bobby's guest room. Those navy suit pants we rigged with a zipper in the inseam when I broke my leg last time are still in there I think and some shirts and ties. There's one pale blue shirt that has French cuffs. Get that nice silk tie and cufflinks that Ellen gave me. Oh, and a belt._

**Sam_W:** _Oh come on, Dean. Does he really need all of that? What's wrong with the Holy Tax Accountant suit?_

 **Dean_W:** _Not much left of it after they cut his clothes off in the hospital._

 **Sam_W:** _Oh, well I guess there's a silver lining. Whatever. I'll find the clothes, but you have to come get them._

 **Dean_W:** _l can't leave, just run them over here? You don't even have to come in. This is his first date EVER Sam. I want it to be something he'll remember._

 **Sam_W:** _You are such a girl. I can't believe you are doing that for him._

 **Dean_W:** _Then I won't tell you about the catered dinner._

 **Sam_W:** _Jesus Dean. Why the fuck are you doing this? He teamed up with CROWLEY for God's sake…and he threatened to kill us if we didn't bow down. He broke my FUCKING wall._

 **Dean_W:** _You survived didn't you?_

**Sam_W:** _Well yeah, but things aren't exactly *peachy* now._

**Dean_W:** _Just bring the damn clothes. I'll meet you outside._

Dean logged off, not giving Sam another chance to say no. It was going to harder than he thought to bring Sam back over to Castiel's side. A few seconds later his phone vibrated in his pocket and he pulled it out to see Bobby on the CallerID. Slipping outside once again he answered, dreading the conversation. Bobby was apparently going to be a hard sell too.

"What the hell are you doing, you idjit?" Bobby yelled.

Dean huffed and rolled his eyes. "It's not like I'm helping him take over the world again or something. I'm just helping a very injured former Angel and a dying nurse hook up. Is that so bad?"

"Dying nurse?"

"Yeah, the one that was taking care of him. She's got the Big C…and apparently the hots for Cas."

"Jesus, Dean. Well just be careful. Don't get her hurt…or him for that matter." Bobby said with a growl.

"All I'm asking is just let me work on this…and please have an open mind?" Dean pleaded.

"OK, OK, just don't let him guilt you into doing all of this."

"He's not guilting me…he's as unsure of all of this as we are OK?"

"Whatever. Sam just walked out the door so he'll be there in 5." Bobby said and hung up without saying goodbye.

Dean pocketed his phone and leaned up against the Impala to wait for Sam. Just as Dean saw the old clunker Sam had borrowed from Bobby pulling in, the door opened and Castiel started outside. "I woke up and you were go…" he started, but stopped short as he saw Sam emerging from the car. A look of fear washed over him and he tried to go back inside.

Turning too quickly, Castiel's crutches caught in the door and Dean ran to catch him before he could fall again. He was too late and they both ended up in a pile of limbs and crutches. Fortunately for Castiel, Dean was on the bottom and broke his fall. Unfortunately for Dean his right ankle was now pinned uncomfortably under the heavy cast.

"Son of a bitch!" Dean yelled, grimacing at the pain shooting up his leg.

Sam came running, forgetting for a moment that he didn't want to be anywhere near Castiel and started to help him up…or at least get him off of Dean. Castiel shrank away, trembling as Sam reached out for him.

"I won't hurt you, Cas." Sam said, shocked at how Castiel reminded him of a cornered hurt animal, ready to lash out but scared to do anything. It was a huge contrast to the power that Sam had always felt emanating from Castiel when he was an Angel…now there was nothing but a scared man staring back at him.

"We need to get you off of Dean…please?" Sam said, trying again to reach out.

Castiel nodded his head slowly and reached out tentatively, his hand shaking as Sam put his arm under Castiel shoulders and pulled him upright. Making sure he was propped up against the door Sam bent to inspect Dean for injuries.

"I think my ankle is messed up." Dean said taking a shuddering breath and hugging his knee to his chest to escape the pain.

Castiel hung his head and said quietly, "I'm sorry Dean. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"It's OK Cas, I'll live…it isn't broken…at least I don't think it is. Sam, get Cas inside and I'll be OK till you get back." Dean said, sucking in a sharp breath as he tried to move his ankle.

Sam bent to retrieve the crutches and handed them to Castiel, unsure how much help to offer.

Taking the crutches with shaking hands Castiel looked up, met Sam's eyes and said, "I'm sorry I hurt you, Sam."

The earnest, pleading look in Castiel's eyes nearly undid Sam, so he looked away, not sure what to say.

"Cas, I-"

"You don't need to say anything Sam, just take care of Dean please?" Castiel interrupted, turning to go inside.

Sam followed and hovered closely, watching to see if Castiel needed any help as he went to his bed and crawled in. Turning away from Sam he pulled his uninjured leg to his chest and hugged it, his shoulders shaking slightly. Sam hesitated for a second, wondering if the former angel was actually crying and then placed his hand on Castiel's shoulder.

"Dean will be OK, Cas. Don't worry."

"Just go take care of him…I'm…not of import." Castiel said, a small sniff betraying the fact that he was indeed crying…or at least as close to it as he had ever come.

Sam grabbed Castiel's crutches, figuring he and Dean were about the same height and went back outside where several hotel guests were crowded around Dean trying to help him up. Dean winced as he tried to put his weight on the offending ankle, then snatched the crutches out of Sam's hand and swung himself into the room with a huff.

"This is just peachy." said Dean; surprised to find himself more upset that he was out of commission and unable to help Castiel with his big date than he was that his ankle was injured.

As he lowered himself carefully onto the edge of the bed, he heard a small sob from Castiel and got back up, leaving the crutches behind and hopping to the other bed. Sam sank down onto the couch, not sure what he should do.

"Cas, it's not a big deal. It will be fine in a few days." Dean said, the throbbing he felt from his ankle telling him he might be laid up for more than just a few days.

"I won't cause you any more trouble, Dean. I'll leave tomorrow." Castiel said, drawing his knee up even tighter to his chest.

"Cas, look at me." Dean said, pulling gently at Castiel's shoulder.

Slowly Castiel unfolded from his cocoon and turned over just enough to look at Dean.

"Look Cas, it's just a hurt ankle. It's not like you meant to do it."

"But if I wasn't here you wouldn't be injured." Castiel said, his eyes brimming with unshed tears.

"But I could have gone out on a hunt and been injured just as easily. Don't beat yourself up over it."

"It my fault though, it's all my fault. Sam, Bobby, you, me…everything. It's all my fault. I was wrong." Castiel said, the tears finally escaping and pouring down his cheeks.

"Cas, don't…you thought you were doing the right thing…and you really were…the end result just wasn't…well…what any of us expected."

Dean looked at Sam and jerked his head in Castiel's direction, trying to get Sam to say something that would help. Sam just shrugged, still unwilling to get in the middle. Dean could tell by the wrinkle of his brow that he was concerned though, even if he wasn't quite ready to admit it.

Pulling a tissue from the box at the bedside he handed it to Castiel, who dutifully wiped his tears and turned away once again with a sigh. Dean was frustrated, but the pain in his ankle was getting worse and he knew if he didn't get his boot off soon they'd probably have to cut it off.

He got up and hopped back to his bed…motioning frantically for Sam to get the boot off. After what seemed to Dean to be an hour of tugging, Sam finally got the boot off and started probing with experienced fingers.

"Doesn't look like its broken, but you aren't going anywhere much for a few days. Probably ought to get it x-rayed just to be sure though." Sam said, ignoring the pissed off look Dean was giving him for probing a little too harshly.

"Yeah, rub it in. Shit…I completely forgot about Karen coming. What time is it?" Dean said, trying to turn to see the clock and tweaking his ankle in the process.

With a resigned sigh Sam said, "It's 3:30. What can I do to help?"

"Go to the Drug Store and get me some icepacks and an Ace bandage I guess, and another freakin' pair of crutches. And here I was worrying about catching Cas' cold…not his gimp status." Dean said, rolling his eyes and throwing the Impala keys at Sam.

Sam caught the keys one handed and turned for the door, stifling the urge to laugh at the absurd situation he found himself in. Dean didn't stifle his and began laughing loudly, wondering just how his perfectly laid plans to get Castiel laid had gone so horribly wrong. Sam just looked back and shook his head, opening the door and heading out as quickly as he could.

Dean continued laughing….so hard that tears were streaming down his face, unable to stop. Castiel rolled over and looked at Dean curiously.

"What is so funny Dean? You're hurt…you shouldn't be laughing."

"Come on Cas, even you should be able to see the humor in this situation." Dean said, gasping for air.

"I suppose. It is rather ironic." Castiel said, a slight smile appearing in place of the totally defeated look of just minutes ago.

"Yeah, you don't know the half of it."

Dean proceeded to tell Castiel the details of his secret plan, stopping only when tears welled up in Castiel's eyes again.

"Why are you crying again, Cas?"

"You worked so hard to plan something nice, and I ruined it."

"It's not ruined, Cas. We can still do it if you want. You'll just have to ignore the second gimp in the room."

"I-I don't know. I want to, but not if you need to go to the hospital. We can do it another night."

"I can go tomorrow. If I just stay off of the ankle it won't get any worse."

"How will you drive?"

"Shit I hadn't thought of that….well I'll just use the other foot…or maybe Karen can take us. I guess I better call her. What do you want to do?"

Castiel sighed and took a deep breath. "She doesn't have long, I guess we should go ahead if that's what she wants."

"Are you OK with it Cas? I mean knowing she's going to die and all?"

"Yes, if I can help her to die knowing someone cares about her then I can deal with that. Of course you and I know where she is going and that it will be OK."

"She's going in the right direction?"

"Yes, she has a very bright…soul." Castiel said, hesitating as he said the word.

Dean winced inwardly as he noticed the hesitation, but continued on, not wanting Castiel to get upset again.

"OK then….date night it is."

Pulling out his phone, Dean dialed Karen's number and waited as it rang. He was about to give up when she finally answered.

"Hey Karen, I was beginning to think you wouldn't answer."

"I wasn't going to, but something told me I should." Karen said, still sounding embarrassed by her earlier confession.

"I talked to Cas, and he knows. He still wants to see you…tonight if that's OK." Dean said, winking at Castiel who blushed and looked away.

"You mean see me like a date?"

"Yep, a date. It's all planned out…there's just one little problem."

"And that is?"

"Me…you'll have to put up with me since I sprained my ankle a little bit ago. I'm not going anywhere for a few days."

Dean heard laughter erupt from the other end of the phone and waited as Karen pulled herself together.

"You Winchester boys sure do like to hurt yourselves a lot. Anything I can do to help?"

"Nope, I've got my other brother Sam on it. Just put on something nice for Cas and show up about 6:00."

"You need to get that x-rayed you know."

"I know, but I'm not going anywhere so it can wait till tomorrow."

"OK then…I'll be there at 6:00."

Dean hung up and looked over at Castiel, who now had that same deer in the headlights look he had when they were in the brothel.

"Relax Cas, I'm sure tonight will be nothing more than a nice meal and maybe some good conversation."

"But I don't know how to have a conversation with her!" Castiel said, still looking rather panicked.

"What did you talk about in the hospital?"

"Not much since I had to write everything down, but about art and the Bible mostly."

"Well there you are, just start with that. I'm sure you'll find plenty to talk about if you just let it happen."

Dean suddenly remembered the art supplies he had secreted away in the trunk of the Impala. He'd need to get Sam to set those up.

"I've got one surprise for you that might help. Sam will have to help me with that when he gets back."

Just as Dean mentioned Sam the door opened and he came in carrying several bags from the Drug Store, a pair of crutches, and the clothes that he had brought from Bobby's. He dumped them on the couch and looked at Dean expectantly. "OK, so now what master? I am guess I'm your slave for the afternoon?"

"Get this ankle wrapped up and iced and then get the stuff out of the trunk of the Impala?"

After Sam wrapped an icepack around Dean's ankle he pushed himself up and hopped to the couch, grabbing the crutches and adjusting them before taking off out the door. Sam followed, yelling at Dean's retreating back, "You really should keep that elevated Dean, not be gallivanting around.

"Yeah, yeah…I know how this works Sam. I'll be off it soon enough. Just come on out here. I need to talk to you about my diabolical plan."

After the door closed after them, Dean turned to Sam and looked at him seriously. "Are you OK with this…I mean with me hurt you are going to have to do some things with Cas sooner than I intended."

"He's different, Dean. Really different. It's kinda hard to hate a guy that's so…well…I don't know how to explain it. It's like the part of him that did all that stuff is gone."

"Exactly…it is. His Grace is gone…the dick Angel is gone…all we are left with is a confused and relatively clueless human being that needs our help to understand how he fits into this world now. If he gets his Grace back then we deal with that when it happens, but for now…he just needs our help. Where else is he going to go?" Dean said, leaning heavily on his crutches and trying to ignore the throbbing in his ankle.

"OK…still not completely onboard, but I'm on the gangplank anyway."

"The stuff in the trunk, get it out and bring it inside."

"What is it?

"Art crap….apparently he was doing a lot of drawing in the hospital. It will give him something to do…and maybe give him a conversation starter tonight."

"You're still going through with your grand plan?"

"Yes…Cas says he still wants to…so we'll do it, if you can help him get ready?"

"What about you gimping around…that's not exactly date material." Sam said, snickering slightly.

"I don't think Cas wants to be alone with her just yet…if he suddenly does then I'll just get another room for the night or something."

"I'm not helping him shower."

"Don't need to, just help him get the water proof thing on his cast and he can do the rest. They did teach him a thing or two in the hospital you know!" Dean said, laughing at the one thing Sam found objectionable.

Dean went back into the room, swinging himself over to Castiel's bed and sitting on the edge as Sam brought in the easel and drafting chair, then deposited the bags full of paints and brushes on the bed. Castiel poked tentatively through the bags, his eyes as big as a little kid at Christmas.

"These are mine? You bought this for me? Why?" Castiel said, cocking his head and looking at Dean quizzically.

Dean smiled at the head tilt of the Lord look and said, "Because Karen told me about the kids, and I saw your drawings. I thought it would give you something to do other than to lie bed."

"I-I've never had anything of my own before." Castiel said quietly, looking away from Dean.

"What about your cell phone?" Sam said, his features softening as he saw the wonder in Castiel's eyes.

"It was an old one of yours…not really mine." Castiel said, looking at Sam thoughtfully. "Thank you for letting me use it…it did not survive my fall to earth I'm afraid."

"'It's OK Cas, we can get you another one. A nice one this time. I'll take you tomorrow after we drop Dean off at the hospital." Sam said, surprising himself at making the offer.

Dean groaned at the prospect of a hospital visit and Sam shot him a dirty look. "You are going if I have to pick you up and carry you there."

"Alright damn it…I'll go, but we better quit emoting here and get to work. The caterer will be here soon and Cas needs to get ready.

"I don't have anything else to wear. Will this be OK?" Castiel said, tugging at his sweatpants.

"No, it won't, but I have some clothes for you. Just get your shower and we'll get you all fixed up."

Castiel looked at Dean expectantly and then across the room to where Dean left his crutches.

Sam started across the room to retrieve them and yelled back at Dean, "Get your ass in bed Dean. Your ankle is getting more swollen by the second!"

Dean looked down at his temporarily forgotten ankle absently, wincing when he saw it was now the size of a grapefruit.

Grabbing his own crutches and laughing again at the absurdity of both him and Castiel being on crutches at the same time, he hobbled across to the bed and flopped into it. "There I'm in bed…satisfied?" he said, glaring at Sam.

He watched as Sam followed Castiel to the bathroom and then closed his eyes, telling himself he'd just rest a minute. The clatter of dishes being placed on the table woke him up an hour later as the caterer began setting out the meal he had ordered. He glanced over to see Sam helping Castiel into his clothes. Dean watched silently as Sam showed Castiel how to put the cuff links in and then how to tie the tie. He laughed when Castiel pulled at the collar, straining against the fully buttoned shirt.

Sam looked over at Dean and laughed as well, leaving Castiel looking confused.

"It doesn't feel right." Castiel whined, pulling at the collar and tie again.

"That's because you've spent the last several years looking like you just walked in the door from a long day at work." Dean said, smirking at Sam.

Sam tightened the tie up again and inserted a tie tack, then stood back to admire his work.

"Just suffer through it for tonight. I'm sure Karen will appreciate the effort." Sam said, looking over at Dean for final approval.

Dean winked at Sam and said, "Damn Cas, you clean up nice. We'll have to beat the ladies off with a stick."

"Why would you want to beat them?" Castiel said with his trademark confused look.

"Nevermind Cas, just get ready to dazzle the one you have."


	6. The Pre-Date Jitters

Even from across the room Dean could tell Castiel was a bundle of nerves. Once Sam had left and he wasn't occupied with getting ready he began to pace, at least as much as one could pace when on crutches, not able to decide whether to sit down or remain standing, watch TV, or doodle on his sketch pad. It ended up being a combination of all of those things and Dean was getting tired just watching him skip from one thing to another.

"Cas, just relax. She isn't going to bite." Dean said, wincing as he tried to put his ankle in a more comfortable position.

"I know she won't Dean, she isn't a vampire." Castiel said, flopping down on the couch with a very human sounding huff.

"That's not what I meant Cas…just…nevermind." Dean said, having decided he wasn't going to find a comfortable position for his ankle and swinging his legs over the side of the bed. "Oh shit…that wasn't a good idea." he groaned, as the blood rushed to his legs and his ankle began to throb. He flopped back on the bed and sighed.

"Are you OK Dean?" Castiel said, closing the sketch pad and laying it aside.

"Yeah, I just can't get comfortable."

Castiel looked at Dean thoughtfully and said, "I never thought I'd say this, but I...um…feel your pain."

Dean started to say something sarcastic, but realized at the last moment that there was something more under the simple words Castiel had voiced. He was talking about being truly human, of truly feeling the same thing that Dean did, something they could never have shared when Castiel was an Angel.

"Thanks, Cas." Dean said simply, unsure of how to respond.

"Is there anything I can do for you Dean? It is my fault you were hurt."

"I could use a drink, but you can't carry that with your crutches so I can wait until Karen gets here." Dean said, wishing he could take back the last part when the look of panic returned briefly to Castiel's face.

After the brief flash of panic Castiel's features changed to one of deep thought as he pulled himself up on his crutches and eyed the drafting chair. Using his body to push it over to his bed he propped his crutches up against the wall and sat down on it. Propelling himself with his good leg, he rolled into the kitchen, poured Dean a drink and returned with it, holding it to Dean out proudly.

"Thanks, Cas!" Dean said, taking a needed gulp from the glass. "That was pretty good thinking. I guess you aren't so helpless after all."

"Let me help you get comfortable?" Castiel said, eyes pleading.

It was obvious to Dean that he was going to have to let Castiel help if he was able, just to assuage some of the man's guilt over getting him hurt.

"I'm supposed to be taking care of you…not the other way around Cas."

"It's the least I can do." Castiel said, lifting Dean's legs gently back up unto the bed and propping his ankle up on the pillows.

Dean was puzzled as Castiel let his hand linger on the ankle for a moment and then removed it with a sigh.

"What's wrong Cas?" Dean asked softly.

"I could have healed it…before." Castiel said quietly, pursing his lips and taking a deep breath. "I thought perhaps there was a little flicker of Grace I could use to help you, but it wasn't enough."

Dean sat up and touched Castiel lightly on the arm. "Cas, if there is any Angel mojo left you should use it on yourself…not me. I'll be fine."

Castiel said nothing, his eyes focused on his hands as he studied them intently. "They used to do so much more. I'm worthless to you now."

Dean flashed back to the dream and realized he still hadn't talked to Castiel about it, but decided now was not the time. "Hey now, don't say stuff like that. You aren't my friend just because you were an Angel."

"I thought you didn't consider me a…a friend anymore…after I…did those horrible things."

Swinging his legs back over the edge of the bed and ignoring the pain Dean gathered Castiel into a hug. After a moment of resistance Castiel hesitantly returned it.

Releasing Castiel from the hug and grasping his shoulders Dean fixed his eyes on the forlorn man's and said, "Cas, that's one of the things about being friends….brothers. You fight…you get mad…you forgive. How many times have I been pissed at Sam? Look at all the times he left and came back."

"But he is your brother…I am not." Castiel said, looking away.

"Bobby isn't my father either, but I consider him one…the only one I have now. You saved me, more times than I can count, even when it meant that you could lose everything. Only a true friend…a brother would do that."

"But I also put you in danger nearly as many times as I saved you."

"Yeah, but so has Sam…and Bobby…and my Dad. Hell, Cas…it's just part of being human…of being a family."

"I suppose, but I have nothing to offer now. Without my powers…I-I'm nothing."

Dean could tell he need to take a different tack if he was going to get Castiel out of the dumps before Karen arrived. "How many languages do you know?"

Castiel fixed Dean with a confused look and said, "All of them…why?"

"I know one…well maybe one and a half. See? Right there is one way you are still valuable. How many exorcisms? Sigils? Wards? Spells? You know all of those things and don't have to spend hours looking them up like we do."

"But what good do they do me if I can't fight? I'm not very good at that without some Heavenly assistance."

"I can teach you that…we all had to learn…Sammy wasn't very good either at first…all gangly arms and legs."

"You would teach me?"

"Of course Cas. Now enough of this pity party. You need to get yourself ready for Karen."

"I thought I was ready." Castiel said, looking down at his clothes.

"You are dressed for it yes, and you look damn good too, but you need to forget about everything tonight and just enjoy yourself."

"Angelic knowledge doesn't include lessons in how to have fun, Dean." Castiel said sadly.

"Surely you've learned a thing or two from me about how to have fun?" Dean said, ginning at Castiel hopefully.

"Maybe, but how do I start? What do I say to her?"

"Look Cas, we've just had about the longest conversation ever for the two of us. Would you have been able to do that when you were an Angel?"

"Um, no."

"And why is that?"

"Long conversations were not necessary to talk about my feelings then."

"Exactly, Cas. You have feelings now…use them."

"But how?" Castiel said, his eyes pleading.

Dean pointed to the table and said, "She should be here soon. Go light the candles and turn out the lights. When she gets here open that bottle of wine and offer her some. Don't forget to drink some yourself and that should loosen both of you up, then she can help you put the food out."

"I've never opened a bottle of wine before." Castiel said, panic returning to his face.

"Wanna know a secret Cas?" Dean said winking at him.

"A secret? I don't understand."

"I don't know how either…all the wine I've ever had came out of a screw top or a box."

"Oh! So how do we figure it out?"

"Um, I ordered 4 bottles in case you needed them for a second date, so go get one out of the kitchen and we'll practice on it." Dean said, suddenly not so sure he was capable to teaching Castiel how to pull off a romantic dinner.

After Castiel rolled the drafting chair off into the kitchen Dean grabbed his crutches and went over to the table to get the corkscrew. Sticking it into his waistband he covered the short distance to the unused wheelchair in the corner then settled into it and wheeled himself over to the couch.

Being mechanically minded Dean figured it had to be relatively simple to figure out how it worked, but he was still fiddling with the corkscrew when Castiel returned with the bottle of wine.

"I don't understand why you would choose to use the wheelchair, Dean. I found it very confining." Castiel said, looking at Dean quizzically.

"Easier on the arms Cas, and I can roll myself and my laptop into the kitchen and use the workdesk to surf while you entertain Karen in here. Now bring me that bottle." Dean said, holding out his hand.

Castiel climbed down off the drafting chair and hopped to the couch so he could see what Dean was doing. After several minutes of turning the pieces this way and that Dean started to put the corkscrew in with the handles up and Castiel reached out to stop him.

"I believe the handles go down, Dean…as the helix goes into the cork the rack and pinion mechanism raises the handles so they can be used a lever to remove the cork." Castiel said, taking the bottle and corkscrew from Dean.

Dean smiled as he watched Castiel successfully remove the cork with a flourish. He had opened a corked bottle or two of wine in his time, but usually by using his pocket knife to hack the cork into submission. At least his inexperience might give Castiel some confidence before the big moment arrived.

"Well, now that you have it open what do you say we sample it before she gets here?" Dan said, hoping Castiel would agree so he would have a little bit of liquid courage in him before Karen arrived.

Castiel nodded and Dean rolled to the kitchen to get some glasses. When he returned Castiel had moved to the table to light the candles and was staring at the flames intently. He jumped when Dean nudged his hand with one of the glasses.

"What's so fascinating in those flames, Cas?"

"It's just…I've never stopped to look at flames before, to admire their beauty. Fire was simply a tool before." he said, a look of wonder in his eyes.

Dean smiled and poured some wine into the glass in Castiel's hand. "Remember that feeling when you look at her tonight. That's all you need to do."

Swirling the red wine in his glass, Castiel sniffed it and took a big gulp then cocked his head as he savored it slowly. "I think I like wine."

"It's not whiskey Cas…sip it or you'll be drunk off your ass before she gets here. One disadvantage to not being an Angel…you can't go drinking a whole liquor store anymore."

"I wouldn't if I could. That was not pleasant." Castiel said, wincing as he remembered the massive hangover.

"OK then, I think you are ready. If you decide you want me to leave just say so, I'll go get another room for the night."

"I do not think that will be necessary. Sam told me people didn't have sex until the third date." Castiel said, with a serious look on his face.

Dean snickered and looked up at Castiel. "So Sam thinks he's an expert in dating now?"

"He said you weren't the best person in the world to accept dating advice from." Castiel said, smiling slightly.

"Oh he did? I'll have to speak to him about that. He's probably right though, it's not like I've had many long term relationships."

"More than me." Castiel said, looking down at Dean with the smile still playing at the corners of his mouth.

"Just do plenty of that tonight."

"Do what?"

"Smile. Relax, smile, and tell her she's beautiful. Look into her eyes and tell her they are beautiful. If she tries to kiss you then remember the flames. Kiss her like you looked at those flames and she'll melt right into your arms."

"I hope so, I don't want to disappoint her." Castiel said, downing the rest of the wine in his glass.

"You won't Cas." Dean said as a knock sounded at the door.

Castiel's eyes went wide and Dean put a hand on his and squeezed it gently. "It's showtime Cas. You going to answer the door or should I?"

"I..um…you…no I should." Castiel said, pushing the drafting chair over to the wall where his crutches were leaning.

"Be right there!" Dean yelled as Castiel waffled between the using the chair or the crutches.

"Just pick one Cas…I'm sure she won't care either way."

Castiel finally decided on the chair and rolled hesitantly to the door, looking back at Dean before putting his hand on the doorknob.

Dean nodded and grinned at Castiel, pointing to his mouth and mouthing Smile.

Castiel took a deep breath and opened the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Chapter is short, but the pre-date conversation between Dean and Castiel got longer than I expected and I felt like the date itself needed its own Chapter.


	7. Date Night - Karen's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't decide on a POV for this Chapter so I wrote two. This is Karen's...the next will be Dean's. I didn't write Castiel's...his musings about it will come later on.

Karen parked her car and wondered for the thousandth time what she was doing. She shouldn't be doing any of this. She was dying and there was nothing anyone could do, but yet here she was going on a date of sorts with a former patient she had only known a few weeks. Why would anyone want to date someone they knew was dying?

Shaking her head she got out of the car and walked slowly to the door, hesitating before knocking lightly on the door. She heard some thumping inside and then a voice she recognized as Dean's yelled out, "Be right there!" Looking down at the simple navy dress she was wearing, she wondered if she was showing too much cleavage, but figured it was too late to do anything about it.

After a few moments the door opened to reveal Cas perched precariously on a drafting chair, not using his crutches. He seemed dumbstruck, just staring at her with big blue eyes. She used the awkward moment to take him in, realizing that the hospital uniform of baggy sweatpants, hospital gowns, and bed hair had not prepared her for how gorgeous the guy really was.

The sky blue shirt made his eyes the deepest cerulean blue she had ever seen and it hugged his chest and slim waist perfectly. The hair was still tousled, but artfully, what her friends referred to jokingly as sex hair. Oh, God he's…perfect. Her hand went to her mouth involuntarily when she wondered if she had said that out loud. The perfect man was standing in front of her and yet the look on his face was more that of a child.

The strange naiveté and childlike wonder he had exhibited in the hospital hadn't bothered her at first…he had sustained a very serious head injury and basically come back from the dead. Now it was bothering her a little, since his behavior hadn't changed, but Dean seemed to be fine with it like it was his normal behavior. His reaction to the brief kiss in the hospital cafeteria was the most puzzling, like he had never been kissed before. Surely this gorgeous man has had his pick of women.

She was jolted from her thoughts and jumped slightly as Dean said, "Don't just stand there Cas…invite the lady in."

Cas slid aside and opened the door wider, but still didn't say anything as she walked in.

"Hi Cas, Dean" Karen said, a snort of laughter escaping as she looked at Dean in the wheelchair and Cas still perched like an overgrown owl on the drafting chair.

"What's so funny?" said Dean.

"You two…I send him home in your care and you end up hurt too. I think you must be cursed." Karen said as she walked over to Dean and gestured at his ankle. "Mind if I take a look?"

"Be my guest." Dean said, sticking his foot out for her inspection.

Gently unwrapping the bandage Karen began to probe the joint, ignoring Dean's winces of pain.

"You are going to the hospital to have this x-rayed?" Karen asked, crossing her arms and trying to look stern.

"I will make sure that he does." Castiel said quietly, scooting his chair closer to Karen.

"Why don't you two sit down on the couch? I'll get the food and put it out for you before I make myself scarce." Dean said, turning the chair and rolling toward the kitchen.

"You don't need to do that, Dean. Let me." Karen said, feeling slightly guilty for being the only able bodied person in the room.

"No, you and Cas talk and I'll be done in a sec….well maybe longer than a sec but I'll get it done." Dean said, glaring at Castiel and motioning with his head towards Karen.

It was obvious to Karen that if the date was going anywhere she was going to have to take the lead. She saw the sketch pad on the couch and sat down, flipping through the pages. Patting the couch beside her she looked at Castiel and said, "Why don't you come show me what you've done?"

Castiel simply nodded and moved the chair over the couch, lowering himself awkwardly to sit beside her.

"This is beautiful, Cas." Karen said, as she looked at a pastel rendering of some sort of park with many colorful flowers and a man flying a kite. "Is this a real place?"

Cas hesitated before saying, "No, it…yes, it is real…I used to like to go there to…um…relax."

Karen wondered about the hesitation and contradiction in Castiel's words. She could tell by the way he looked at the drawing the place was important to him, but he seemed sad. "Why don't you go anymore?" she said quietly.

"I can't, it's…too far away."

"Well, maybe you can go back someday soon." Karen said, hoping to lighten the mood.

"I doubt it, but maybe a similar place that you like. Yes, that would be nice." Cas said cryptically, looking into her eyes.

Karen looked at him questioningly, not understanding the odd choice of words. She wasn't sure how long they looked at each other, but she was beginning to feel uncomfortable under Castiel's unyielding gaze. She shifted and looked away, wishing she extricate herself from the awkward situation gracefully.

"Karen, can you help me with something here in the kitchen?" Dean yelled.

Taking a deep breath of relief Karen jumped from the couch and walked quickly to where Dean had leaned up against the counter, his injured ankle held carefully off the floor. "What can I do?" she said.

"Look I can see Cas is weirding you out, but just give him a chance OK? He's always been a little …um…socially awkward, and he's not very…experienced if you know what I mean. I probably should have given you more of a heads up on that. Sorry!" Dean whispered.

"I'm trying to draw him out, but the conversation goes no where. I'm afraid I don't know what else to do." Karen said quietly, glancing back towards Cas.

"Let me talk to him a minute outside and see if I can help him out a little. I probably should have done a little more to get him ready for this instead of throwing him into the deep end." Dean said apologetically.

Karen watched as Dean sank back down into the wheelchair, grabbed Cas' crutches and rolled over to him. Then she busied herself gathering the rest of the food and placing it on the table. As the door closed behind them she sank into the chair at the table, taking a deep breath. This has to be the weirdest date I've ever been on, with the weirdest guy I have ever met. Eying the wine on the table she was tempted to pour herself a glass, but stopped as she reached for it. I should let him do that…if he will. She sighed, almost but not quite wishing she had never shown any interest in this strange man. How can someone be that old and not even understand how to have a conversation? Maybe it's me…maybe he just isn't into me.

She got up and went back over to the couch, sinking dejectedly into the cushions. Picking the sketch pad back up she began to flip through it again, stopping when she came to the last sketch. I'm just going to leave now. This isn't going to work. Throwing the sketch pad to the side she noticed that there was something on the very last page as if he had wanted to hide it. Picking the pad back up she looked at it, breathless.

It was another pastel drawing…of her. She was standing in what looked like the same park. Cas had drawn himself beside her reaching out with two fingers toward her head. A soft light came from behind Cas, seeming to illuminate him from within. She admired the artistic skill necessary to produce the effect and then noticed something else…vague shadows of something shaped like….wings…sprouted from Cas' back.

Her hands trembled as she looked at it, now even more curious about this place Cas was obviously so attached to, and why he would draw himself this way. She wasn't so sure there was a Heaven, but if there was this is surely what it would look like…and there would be angels in Heaven. Cas wants to be an Angel?

Any further thought on the subject was interrupted as Dean and Castiel made their way back into the room. Karen saw Dean wink at Castiel, who took a deep breath and smiled stiffly, gesturing to the table.

"Would you like some wine?" Cas said, turning on his crutches to head for the table.

Taking a deep breath of her own Karen walked to the table, noticing that Cas had positioned himself behind a chair…presumably the one he wanted her to sit in. He pulled the chair out and looked at her shyly. Karen smiled back, relaxing a little, and sat down as he did his best to help push in the chair.

It did not escape her attention that she was now seated with her back to the rest of the room and that Dean had quietly seated himself on the bed directly opposite Cas. She smirked a little as she realized Dean was going to try to coach Cas. This will be entertaining to say the least. Might as well see where this goes.

Cas lowered himself slowly into the chair opposite and laid his crutches aside before pouring some wine into his glass, tasting it and nodding before pouring some into hers. It was mechanical and looked rehearsed, but endearing nonetheless. Karen resisted the urge to laugh, knowing by the determined look on Cas' face that he was trying really hard. She took a sip and nodded back.

"This is nice, Cas. Is Cas short for something or just a nickname?" Karen said, sitting back and relaxing a bit.

Cas' eyes went wide and she saw them glance behind her at Dean, but acted as if she didn't notice.

"It's…um..short for my…ah…middle name." Castiel said, looking up at the ceiling and blushing.

"And your middle name is?" Karen coaxed.

"Castiel." he said quietly, bowing his head and looking up at her through thick dark lashes.

Karen resisted to urge to melt right there on the spot. Damn those eyes are just…God he is so gorgeous.

Swirling her wine in the glass nonchalantly she said, "Castiel…that's an unusual name. Where have I heard that before?"

"My…mother named me after the…Angel of Thursday." Castiel said, swallowing hard before looking back from Dean to her.

She resisted the urge to laugh as she watched Castiel mirror her swirling motion and then take a big gulp of wine. "That's interesting, is your family religious or something?"

"Yes, very." Castiel said forcefully but somewhat sadly, not needing to look at Dean this time.

The emphatic answer made her laugh and she looked over to see Castiel's eyes searching for Dean's again. That would explain the choirboy persona…jeez is he a virgin or something?

"So…your Mom and Dad were strict?" Karen said, hoping to finally ferret out enough information to explain his strange behavior.

"Yes, my Father is…was…extremely so. We didn't get much…any…freedom…or instruction on how to use it if we had it." Castiel said somewhat angrily.

Karen could tell from the emotion in his answer that it didn't come from Dean, but instead of explaining things it presented a new puzzle. Why is Dean so normal and Castiel so…not? Thinking back to her first conversation with Dean she remembered that there was some sort of disagreement between them. Dean wasn't sure he wanted to take responsibility for Castiel. The interaction between them now was so easy…not forced in any way. How could they have resolved such a bad situation in such a short time?

"We should eat…before it gets cold." Castiel said, reaching across the table and taking the cover off of her plate.

Karen looked across the table and hesitated before reaching for her fork. Religious family… should I wait for him to say Grace? When Castiel reached for his fork and took a bite she relaxed and took a bite of hers. Normally she'd ask about the meal, but it was pretty obvious Dean was the one responsible for all of this. She continued eating, waiting for Castiel to say something.

Karen could hear movement from behind her, but resisted the urge to look. Dean's probably over there gesticulating wildly trying to get him to say something. She smirked into her fork as the sounds stopped and Castiel spoke.

"Um…is your meal satisfactory?" Castiel said, looking at her hopefully.

Karen could almost hear the unvoiced groan from across the room, knowing Dean was probably cringing at the phrasing Castiel had used. She reached across the table and put her hand on top of Castiel's, watching as he followed her hand with his eyes as if it were some kind of threat.

"The food is really good. This is all really nice. Thank you, Castiel." she said, noticing that he smiled slightly she said his full name.

"You're welcome, but I am not the one you should thank. I wouldn't have thought to do this." Castiel said, trailing off sadly at the end.

Karen was slightly taken aback by the longest sentence she had ever heard Cas utter, but felt a twinge at the sadness in his voice.

Taking his hand in both of hers she fixed him with her eyes and said, "It's OK, Cas. You had a serious head injury; it's understandable if you forget things."

Removing his hand and placing it in his lap Castiel said, "No, it's not something I would have thought of before. I'm just not very good at being…human."

Karen heard a sharp intake of breath behind her and then more rustling as Castiel looked over her shoulder at Dean. It was a weird thing to say, but why would Dean object to that?

Castiel seemed to draw into himself after the last look and when he spoke again it was barely a whisper. "I'm sorry, I should have said I wasn't very good at…doing the right thing."

Karen knew this had to be the strangest situation she had ever been in, but the sad look on Castiel's face was breaking her heart. She plowed on, determined to get a conversation going that wasn't being coached by Dean.

"Relax, Cas. I'm not going to bite you." Karen said, wondering why saying that would provoke the extra loud rustling noises behind her.

Castiel looked up and met her gaze again and said intently without looking at Dean, "I know. I'm aware that you aren't a v-"

Karen heard a loud thump and then a moan from the other side of the room as she saw Castiel reach for his crutches and start to get up. She turned to see Dean on the floor holding his ankle and writhing in pain.

"Sorry" Dean grunted. "Was trying to get up to go to the bathroom and I slipped."

Karen went to help him up and resisted the urge to call him out on the whole Cyrano de Bergerac act. Throwing his arm over her shoulder she guided him down on the bed and fixed him with a stare. She jumped as she turned to find herself face to face with Castiel who had somehow managed silently position himself very closely behind her.

"He's really good at that whole ninja thing…always has been." Dean said with a snort.

"That's IT! No more Cyrano de Bergerac…no more coaching." Karen yelled, more than a little freaked out when Castiel just stood there looking at her instead of moving away.

Dean rolled his eyes and rubbed his face with both hands, finally looking at her apologetically and shrugging.

OK, I'm in the Twilight Zone…might as well go with it…what have I got to lose? Grabbing a surprised Castiel by the shoulders Karen planted a forceful kiss on his lips. He resisted for a second and then began to kiss back, haltingly at first and then more confidently. She teased at his bottom lip with her tongue and he parted his lips, his breath hitching as she began to explore. There was no hesitation as his tongue quickly entwined with hers. Castiel's crutches clattered to the floor as he wrapped his arms tightly around her waist and hobbled slowly towards the couch, dragging her with him.

The fact that Dean was now swinging rapidly across the room on his crutches and out the door barely registered as Karen fell onto the couch with Castiel, his lips still exploring hers. His cast was a momentary distraction as they tried to figure out the best position for it. After Dean was gone Karen sat up and looked down at Castiel, who was looking back up at her intently.

"You haven't done this before have you?" she said as gently as possible.

Castiel pursed his lips and reached up to touch hers with a finger as he said simply, "No I haven't."

"That's refreshing. Most guys would lie and say they had." Karen said, looking at Castiel thoughtfully. But then most guys wouldn't still be a virgin at his age.

"I see no reason to lie about it." Castiel said, cocking his head to the side, his eyes travelling over her face languidly.

"You definitely aren't like most guys." Karen said, lowering herself over Castiel to lay a trail of kisses across his cheek.

"No, I'm not. I've led a…sheltered life." Castiel said somewhat sadly, reaching up to touch her cheek with the back of his hand.

Karen leaned into the touch, closing her eyes and enjoying the feeling of his hand softly caressing her face. When his hand fell away she opened her eyes and reached for his tie, looking at him questioningly. His eyes went wide for a second and then he relaxed and nodded, placing his hand on hers as she slowly worked it loose.

"Castiel?"

"Yes?"

"You'll stop me if I go too fast?"

"Yes."

After pulling his tie out and flinging it over the back of the couch, she watched as Castiel began to slowly undo the buttons on his shirt…his fingers shaking as if he had never done that before either. A strange feeling washed over her and it suddenly didn't matter to her how strange he was, or why he was that way. She just knew that she was meant to do this.

"Why don't we move somewhere more comfortable." She said, gesturing with her head toward Dean's bed.

Castiel sat up and looked at her, taking a deep breath before saying, "You are very beautiful, Karen."

She blushed and took his hand, helping him up before kissing him again with everything she had. He returned the kiss, running his hand up her back and then kissing slowly down her neck and onto her exposed chest.

"Is this right?" he said, looking up at her imploringly.

"Ummmm…ah…yes. That's…yeah." Karen said, now sure that she had chosen the right dress.

Castiel shifted his weight slightly and stepped back, taking all his weight on his good leg. After a moment of hesitation he locked her eyes with his and swept her up into his arms.

"You can't do that, Cas. You'll hurt your leg...or your ribs." Karen said, surprised at the position she found herself in.

"I've got you, don't worry." Castiel said, a soft smile playing at the corners of his lips.

Karen hadn't realized that the step back had placed him right at the forgotten drafting chair and she panicked briefly as he began to sink onto it thinking he was falling with her. When she realized they were safe she relaxed and looked up at him, marveling at how different he looked with a smile on his face, even if it was a small one.

"You should do that more often." she said, reaching up to trace his soft lips with her finger.

"What? Pick you up?" he said, a look of confusion replacing the smile.

"No, smile. I've never seen you really smile."

A brief look of sadness crossed his face before he smiled again and said, "I've never really done that much either."

As he propelled them across the floor to the bed Karen wondered briefly about how far she should go…it wasn't like she had ever taken a man's virginity before. She sighed as she remembered that she didn't have much time left. This could be it…his first and my last…how ironic that would be.

"Am I hurting you?" Castiel asked, his face lining with worry.

"No, why?"

"Your smile disappeared. I was afraid I had hurt you."

"No, Cas. I was just…you know I'm going to die right?"

"Yes. I know." he said quietly.

"That doesn't bother you…that I might be gone soon? I don't want you to be hurt when I'm gone."

"You'll only be gone from your body. You'll be in a much better place." He said, the surety of his words making her wonder if he knew something she didn't.

He deposited her gently on the bed and smiled down at her, pushing her hair away from her face gently.

"You are sure of that aren't you? You truly believe?"

"Yes, I'm sure." He said, running his fingers through her hair.

Grabbing his hand she held it against her face, closing her eyes against the tears that were threatening to spill out. They poured out anyway and she found herself sobbing softly into his hand, hugging it to her face as if it were the only thing keeping her alive.

"Don't cry, Karen. I promise everything will be all right." He said, struggling to climb into bed with only one hand and a bad leg.

Releasing his hand she reached out to help him, pulling him close and laying her head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to spoil the moment."

"You didn't." he said, kissing the top of her head and then raising her chin with his finger. Locking her eyes with his he stated emphatically, "There are things humans…um…we don't understand. A larger purpose. If Fa-God is taking you now it is for a reason. It is not our place to question the timing, but I know I will see you again…if you want of course."

Lost in his eyes Karen felt a sense of peace wash over her, like he was suddenly all around her… protecting her from everything the world could throw at her…even death. She felt a smile begin to form again and sighed, wishing she could just stop the world at this moment. Only a miniscule part of her noticed the strange hesitation and near slips Castiel had made.

"I believe you. I've never been so sure of anything in my life. Thank you Castiel." she said softly, as she laid her head back on his shoulder.

"You're welcome." He said simply, sliding his arm under her and hugging her closely to him.

Karen laid there for awhile savoring the closeness and peace she felt. Castiel reached across with his other arm and began to stroke her hair again as she turned to kiss his neck, humming softly against it.

"Mmmm, that feels nice." Castiel said.

Sitting up, Karen reached inside his shirt, pulling it gently aside so she could continue scattering kisses down his chest. Once she had reached his waistband she went back up the other side, looking up at him briefly before taking his nipple into her mouth and swirling her tongue around it.

"MMmmm, that feels…huh…ummmm. He said, closing his eyes and moaning softly.

Castiel shifted under her, using his hand to lift her head as he sat up and began to remove his shirt. He hesitated for a second before placing his hands on her hips and tugging at her dress gently, silently asking permission with his eyes. Karen placed her hands on his, helping him pull the dress over her head.

He reached out slowly, his eyes searching for hers as his hand caressed her breast softly. Reaching back she unhooked her bra and shrugged out of it, watching as Castiel's eyes explored her body with a look of wonder…like he was seeing a woman for the very first time. She tilted her head and looked at him curiously, realizing that when he said he had never done this he had never done any of this before. Suddenly she felt as if the whole world was resting on her shoulders…this had to be perfect. She tensed as he pulled her closer, cupping her breasts in his hands and kissing them tenderly.

"Am I doing something wrong?" he said, eyes pleading.

"No Cas, I'm sorry. I just…well…I've never given anyone their first time. I want this to be perfect for you." Karen said, reaching out to stroke his cheek and looking away.

"It is." Castiel said, turning her head back and searching for her eyes with his as a broad smile lit up his whole face.

She hadn't melted before, but that smile was her undoing. Grasping desperately at his belt she straddled him, leaning forward to kiss him eagerly as her fingers fumbled to release the catch. She felt his breath hitch as she bit as his lower lip, his tongue reaching desperately into her mouth. He pulled her closer and kissed her harder and longer than she had ever been kissed before. As dizziness began to overtake her she pulled away, breathing heavily.

"Is that what they mean by a breathless kiss?" Castiel said, his eyes twinkling.

"I…um…think so. That's my first one of those so I'm not sure." Karen said, amazed that this strange man's inexperienced kiss could be the best one she ever had.

"From what I've been told I believe we still have too much clothing on? He asked, his eyes questioning.

From any other man that would have been a cheesy come on, but from Castiel it was as innocent and honest as a question could be. Karen smiled down at him and then started to laugh, covering her face with her hands. As the laughter subsided she peeked out through her fingers to see Castiel gazing up at her, a soft smile sitting ever so gently on his swollen lips.

"You are beautiful when you laugh. You should do it more often." he said, reaching out to run his thumb across her lips.

"Why are you so damn perfect…and where have you been all my life James Castiel Winchester?

It was Castiel's turn to laugh, and at first she wasn't sure if it was a laugh or he was suddenly choking since his eyes flashed a brief look of fear. It's almost as if he has never done that either, but who the hell could go through their entire life without laughing? After a few moments he relaxed and they were both laughing loudly, unable to stop. Tears began to flow down Castiel's face and she watched as he wiped them away and then looked at his hand curiously as if he had never seen his own tears before.

Karen's mind was doing cartwheels, trying to make sense of all the little things about him that added up to nothing. The perfect man was so imperfect she couldn't wrap her head around it. What was it about him that made her want to protect him like a child, knowing he was a full grown man? She was reminded none to gently that he was a full grown man when he shifted underneath her, his hips pushing up ever so slightly against her as a soft moan escaped his lips.

Looking back down at him, she saw his eyes slide closed and a look of sheer bliss spread across his face as he began to move against her. As she leaned to kiss him gently he opened his eyes, looking for and finding hers before rolling her off and placing her hand on his erection. She nodded but removed her hand, instead flipping the clasp on his pants open and pulling the zipper down.

Quickly examining the leg of his pants covering his casted leg she saw the inseam zipper and moved down the grasp the tab in her teeth. Looking up at him she crawled backwards, pulling the zipper as she went. Castiel raised his hips and she pulled them off in one fluid motion, tossing them aside as she removed her panties and went back for his briefs. Pulling them down as she went Karen left a trail of kisses down his good leg, and stopped at the bottom of the injured one to kiss each of his toes as they struggled to free themselves from their confinement in the cast.

Feeling Castiel reaching for her Karen moved back up and straddled him again, gently caressing his erection as he explored her breasts with his hands. He moaned and bucked sharply almost throwing her off to the side and she knew that as much as she wanted this to go on forever, they probably didn't have long before Castiel would explode like a lit firecracker. Karen took his hand, guiding it slowly down and placing her finger over his, coaching silently and then not so silently when he hit the right spot.

She was sure the entire hotel could hear her moans, and wondered idly just how far away Dean was before turning her attention back to Castiel. His eyes were wide as saucers he watched her writhe on top of him. Taking in a hissing breath Karen leaned forward to brush his lips briefly before her shift in position and his exploration hit the elusive perfect spot.

She shuddered and screamed out, "Castiel….ah…hmmmmm…oh GOD!"

Castiel muttered something she didn't hear, but she didn't stop to ask him what as she gently guided his erection inside her. An unearthly groan erupted from Castiel as he slid inside and she began to move on top of him, changing position until she found the one. Moving more rapidly she watched as Castiel threw his head back and began to move with her as much as he could in his injured state.

"Kar…en…ah…ughhhhhh…ah…umph…oh, Guh…ah!" Castiel said, his eyes flying open as he began to come.

Squeezing him hard, Karen closed her eyes and rode him out, entwining her fingers with his outstretched hand and letting him push against her until he was spent…her own orgasm forgotten completely. When he stopped moving she opened her eyes and looked down to see him staring back up at her, his mouth agape. Sliding gently against him one more time she leaned down to kiss him, and rolled off onto her side facing him.

Castiel blinked his eyes several times and opened his mouth as if to say something, but nothing came out. He propped himself up on an elbow, wincing briefly as his ribs complained, then ran his fingers up and down her arm, still breathing deeply from the exertion.

"Was that….good?" he asked, the sincerest look on his face she had ever seen.

"Mind-blowing, Cas. That was…otherworldly good." Karen said, still breathing hard herself.

Castiel sat up, staring down at himself and said, "Though somewhat messy."

Karen laughed and sat up, dragging her finger through the wetness and tracing it up his chest then around a nipple. She winked at him and ran her tongue out, licking her finger suggestively. "Can be fun."

Castiel blushed and looked away, obviously realizing that there were other things she could do with that tongue.

"I think I've had enough fun for one night." he said, closing his eyes and flopping back on the pillows.

"Probably so. I should probably get up and get your pain meds. I'm betting you'll be sore in the morning." Karen said.

"I'm sore now." Castiel said, tiredly raising his hand and rubbing it across his ribcage.

"That's what you get for picking me up you idiot."

"I'll keep that in mind for…um…next time?" he said, his voice questioning as he opened one eye cautiously.

"What makes you think there will be a next time?" Karen said, reaching out to trace the curve of his jaw with her finger.

"Um…you aren't grabbing your clothes and running out of the room like some of the girls Dean sleeps with?"

"Oh, so Dean's one of those guys, huh?"

"One of what guys?"

"Love 'em and leave 'em" Karen said, taking Castiel's hand in hers.

"Not always….he's just afraid I think." Castiel said thoughtfully.

"Of what?"

"Of being happy."

"He seems like a good guy…he did all of this for us. Why would he be afraid to be happy?"

"I don't know, but he is." Castiel said, closing his eyes again and taking a deep breath.

"You rest. I'll get your pain meds and we'll get some sleep. I just wish I didn't have to be at the hospital at the crack of dawn." Karen said, rolling off the bed to retrieve her panties.

Castiel nodded tiredly and rolled over onto his side, burying his face in the pillow.

Karen went over the Castiel's bed and looked into the duffle bag lying on the floor until she found a t-shirt to put on, then went to the kitchen and grabbed Castiel's medication. When she returned he was already snoring softly, but she knew if she didn't wake him he'd wake up later needing them.

"Mmmmmph" Castiel moaned as she shook him gently.

"Come on…you need to take your meds."

"No…wan sleep." he said, burrowing deeper into the pillow.

Poking him again she said, "You'll be sorry later."

"OK…I surrender." Castiel said, rolling back over slowly and sitting up sleepily.

Karen couldn't help but laugh when he pulled the covers up under his chin and sat there blinking at her like the proverbial owl.

"What's so funny this time?"

"You. Your hair is going every which way and you look ever so cute. Like a little owl."

"Owls have yellow eyes, mine are blue."

"Still you are just so cute." Karen said, pinching Castiel's cheek.

"I am not cute." He said, slapping her hand away.

"OK, I give…you are not cute…here take your pills." Karen said, holding them out in her hand and giving him a glass of water with the other.

Castiel snatched the pills and swallowed them dry, flopping back into his pillows with a huff.

"You gonna sleep naked?"

"Yes. Go away."

"You'll be needing the bathroom soon. Don't you want to go now?"

"Not really."

"Come on, get up and go now then you can sleep all you want."

Castiel sighed and sat back up, swinging his cast over the edge of the bed and easing it down slowly. "I'll need those" he said, pointing at his crutches lying forgotten on the floor by the couch.

Karen went to retrieve them and then looked through the bed clothes to find his briefs. Twirling them around her finger said, "You might want these too if you are going to prance about the place."

"I still can't put them on by myself." Castiel said morosely, his shoulders drooping slightly.

Karen knelt down and pulled them up over the cast, letting the waistband snap on his belly. "You'll be out of that cast soon."

"I hope so. I'm really tired of this."

Karen kissed him on the cheek and rubbed his back as he adjusted the crutches under his arms and set out slowly across the room. A low whistle escaped her lips as she watched the muscles in his shoulders and arms ripple. He turned and looked at her quizzically.

"What was that for?"

"Nevermind…just go pee so we can get some sleep?"

After she heard the bathroom door close she grabbed a towel from the kitchen and cleaned the mess up as well as she could, then waited for her turn. When Castiel returned she helped him into bed and ran to the bathroom quickly, hoping to get back before he was asleep again.

Karen found him sitting on the edge of the bed looking rather sad when she got back.

"What's wrong?"

"I hate this" he whispered, gesturing down at his leg.

"I know Cas, just be patient."

"And I hate these." He said, shoving his crutches away and watching them fall to the floor.

"Patience. It will be over before you know it."

"But you'll be…might be…gone…before then. I want you to see me whole and I'm afraid you won't." Castiel said, looking up at her sadly.

"Cas, I don't want you to see me…die either, but it's something we just have to accept."

"But I used to be…I could have…"

"Could have what?"

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything. I'm just not very good at accepting things the way they are yet."

More pieces to the strange puzzle that is Castiel. Karen shook her head and guided Castiel back into bed. Crawling in next to him she pulled his arm around her neck and laid her head on his shoulder again.

"I'm not very good at it either, but I don't really have a choice."

"No, I guess none of us do." Castiel said with a loud sigh.

Karen sat up and smiled at him. "So let's just enjoy what we have for as long as we have it…even if that means I'm gone tomorrow."

"Yes, you are right if course. I'm sorry." He said, smiling softly back at her.

"It's understandable. You're a guy. Guys don't like being helpless. But remember, if you hadn't been hurt and ended up in my hospital you never would have had this night of amazing sex."

"True. I got…laid and Dean slept alone…that's new." Castiel said visibly brightening.

Karen grabbed the pillow and threw it at him, laughing at the way he said got laid like he had never said it before.

"That's all I am to you…a good lay?"

"No, actually you are an amazing…lay."

"Glad I could be of service, but you don't actually have a basis for comparison."

"No, but…"

"No, but what?"

"Nothing…I'll tell you one day soon. Can we sleep now?"

"Yes, I thought you'd never ask."


	8. Date Night - Dean's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Date Night from Dean's POV. Although I originally intended to write Castiel's as well I decided to get on with the story and sort of let his reactions filter through the next chapter.

Dean watched Castiel open the door and realized belatedly that he probably hadn't prepped the guy enough. It was too late now though, so he waited to see what would happen after Castiel opened the door. What happened was pretty much what Dean expected. Castiel just sat there staring at her like he had never seen a woman before.

All was not lost since his silence gave Karen the chance to look him over and Dean could tell she liked what she saw. He smirked into his hand when he saw her hand go to her mouth involuntarily. I wonder what she was thinking? Better come to the rescue here.

"Don't just stand there Cas…invite the lady in." he said, waiting to see if either one of them would even acknowledge his presence.

After a few moments Castiel slid aside and opened the door wider, but still didn't say anything as she walked in. Jeez, Cas would it hurt you to just say hello?

"Hi Cas, Dean" Karen said, a snort of laughter escaping as her eyes went from him to Cas.

"What's so funny?" said Dean.

"You two…I send him home in your care and you end up hurt too. I think you must be cursed." Karen said as she walked over to Dean and gestured at his ankle. "Mind if I take a look?"

"Be my guest." Dean said, sticking his foot out for her inspection.

Gently unwrapping the bandage Karen began to probe the joint and it was all Dean could do to hold in the cry of pain that wanted to escape his lips. Wincing, he gripped the arms of the chair tightly to ease the pain so she wouldn't decide he needed to rush off to the hospital.

"You are going to the hospital to have this x-rayed?" Karen asked, crossing her arms and looking down at him sternly.

"I will make sure that he does." Castiel said quietly, scooting his chair closer to Karen.

Finally! He speaks! "Why don't you two sit down on the couch? I'll get the food and put it out for you before I make myself scarce." Dean said, turning the chair and rolling toward the kitchen.

"You don't need to do that, Dean. Let me." Karen said.

"No, you and Cas talk and I'll be done in a sec….well maybe longer than a sec but I'll get it done." Dean said, glaring at Castiel and motioning with his head towards Karen.

Sneaking a look back as he rolled into the kitchen Dean hoped that Karen could get the ball rolling, but knew it was going to be an uphill battle. Why didn't I wait a few days before I did this? He's so clueless. He couldn't quite tell what they were saying, but the murmurs from the other room told him they were at least having some sort of conversation. As he placed the tray of food on his lap and wheeled back into the room he could see they were talking about one of his drawings.

"This is beautiful, Cas. Is this a real place?"

Cas hesitated before saying, "No, it…yes, it is real…I used to like to go there to…um…relax."

Dean had asked Castiel about that drawing earlier in the day and knew it was his favorite Heaven. That could bring up all sorts of unwanted questions.

"Why don't you go anymore?" she said quietly.

Dean nearly dropped the tray as he heard the question, waiting for Castiel to slip and say something about Angels.

"I can't, it's…too far away."

"Well, maybe you can go back someday soon." she said.

"I doubt it, but maybe a similar place that you like. Yes, that would be nice." Cas said.

Dean cringed, knowing that he was talking about visiting her in her particular Heaven, but was relieved that Cas managed to phrase it so vaguely. His relief was short lived as he looked again at Karen and could tell she was getting uncomfortable. Rolling back into the kitchen he pulled himself up out of the chair and leaned against the counter, wincing as his ankle reminded him why he was sitting in it in the first place. I'm gonna be pissed if it's broken.

"Karen, can you help me with something here in the kitchen?" he yelled a little too loudly.

Dean saw the look of relief on her face at being extricated from the conversation as she said, "What can I do?"

"Look I can see Cas is weirding you out, but just give him a chance OK? He's always been a little …um…socially awkward, and he's not very…um…experienced if you know what I mean. I probably should have given you more of a heads up on that. Sorry!" Dean whispered, hoping he hadn't just turned her off from him completely.

"I'm trying to draw him out, but the conversation goes no where. I'm afraid I don't know what else to do." Karen said quietly, glancing back toward Cas.

"Let me talk to him a minute outside and see if I can help him out a little. I probably should have done a little more to get him ready for this instead of throwing him into the deep end." Dean said apologetically.

Sinking back down into the chair gratefully Dean grabbed Castiel's crutches and rolled over to him, motioning toward the door. Once they were outside, Dean looked up at Castiel and saw the deer in the headlights look again.

"Relax, Cas."

"I can't, Dean. I just don't know what to say!" Castiel said, his eyes searching Dean's as if he could suck all of the dating experience right out of Dean's brain.

Maybe he could if he was still an angel. That would be weird. "Look Cas, just go back in there and ask if she wants some wine, then go pull out the chair closest to the bed. Her back will be to the rest of the room that way. I'll go sit on your bed and you can just look over her shoulder at me if you get stuck."

"I don't know Dean. Won't she know?" Castiel said, once again drawing a sigil in the gravel with the tip of a crutch.

"Maybe she will, Cas. I don't know, but I'm betting she won't mind."

"I can't do this Dean. It's…I think you would say…above my pay grade?"

Dean chuckled and looked at Castiel starting earnestly down at him. "Probably. Look Cas, for a nerdy dude with wings you are pretty hot…for a guy anyway…and those eyes man. Use 'em."

"Use them how?" Castiel said, the trademark confused look creeping across his face.

"Just look at her a lot…I know that's not usually a problem for you. I'm sorry we didn't talk about this earlier. I should have."

"I think we could talk about it until the end of time and I still wouldn't be ready." Castiel said, his shoulders slumping.

"What's the worst that can happen? She'll leave and you won't have to worry about it anymore. We can find you another girl if that's what you want."

"But I want her." Castiel whispered so quietly that Dean almost missed it.

"OK then, if you want Karen then I'll do my best to make sure you get her. I can't promise though. It's not like I can make her like you."

"I know. Thank you Dean." Castiel said, meeting Dean's eyes again finally.

"Don't thank me yet. Come on let's get back inside and see if we can make some magic happen." Dean said, grabbing the push rims on the wheelchair and popping a wheelie.

"I don't think we should use magic Dean."

"It's just a saying Cas, means getting you laid." Dean said, balancing carefully in the chair.

"That sounds very unangelic."

Seeing the blush creeping across Castiel's cheeks Dean realized he should probably stop talking, but he didn't.

"It will probably feel very unangelic, but good. If you don't want to then don't. Just have a nice dinner and there will be another night."

"I don't think I can get to the third date." Castiel said sadly.

"Ignore Sam. He doesn't know what he's talking about."

"But he said it was more gentlemanly to wait."

"Under normal circumstances yes, but these aren't exactly normal. I'm pretty sure she wants to jump your bones."

"Jump my bones?"

"Forget it Cas…just get in there and look…angelic. Sweep her off her feet."

Dean watched as a rather defeated looking Castiel turned to go back into the room and wished there was more he could do. Deep end it was going to have to be. Castiel would either sink or swim and he'd deal with it in the morning. Dean winked at Castiel and rolled as quietly as possible to Castiel's bed and perched himself on it, ready to coach from the wings.

Dean took a deep breath along with Castiel as he sort of smiled and gestured to the table.

"Would you like some wine?" Castiel asked and Dean gave him a look of encouragement once her back was turned to him.

Dean watched as Castiel managed to get her into the chair he had wanted and gave him thumbs up as he sat down. Karen's slight smirk did not escape his attention, but things were in motion so he had to go with it.

Cas lowered himself slowly into the chair opposite and laid his crutches aside before pouring some wine into his glass, tasting it and nodding before pouring some into Karen's. Dean wondered what movie or TV show Cas had watched with him that he copied the motions from. It was mechanical and looked rehearsed, but endearing nonetheless.

"This is nice, Cas. Is Cas short for something or just a nickname?" Karen said, and Dean was relieved to see she sat back and relaxed a bit.

Dean cringed as the question was asked and saw Castiel's eyes go wide and search for him over her shoulder. He mouthed middle name several times hoping Castiel knew what a middle name was. Then he pointed to his eyes and to her.

"It's…um..short for my…ah…middle name." Castiel said, looking up at the ceiling and blushing.

"And your middle name is?" Karen coaxed.

"Castiel." he said quietly, bowing his head and looking up at her through thick dark lashes.

Dean noticed Karen's shoulders rise slightly as Castiel looked at her and gave him other thumbs up. This was going to be easy!

Swirling her wine in the glass nonchalantly she said, "Castiel…that's an unusual name. Where have I heard that before?"

Jeez…why can't she ask about the freakin' weather or something? Dean rolled his eyes and mouthed mother. Apparently Castiel was good at lip reading at least.

"My…mother named me after the…Angel of Thursday." Castiel said, swallowing hard before looking back from Dean to her.

Dean started to laugh as Castiel mirrored Karen's swirling motion with the glass take a beer chug sized gulp from the glass and clapped his hand over his mouth before she heard him.

"That's interesting, is your family religious or something?" Karen said, and Dean nearly fell off the bed trying to resist the urge to laugh.

"Yes, very." Castiel said, without looking at him.

"So…your Mom and Dad were strict?"

"Yes, my Father is…was…extremely so. We didn't get much…any…freedom…or instruction on how to use it if we had it." Castiel said somewhat angrily.

Dean was beginning to panic since Castiel hadn't looked at him for the last few questions. Finally he looked up and Dean pointed frantically at the food.

"We should eat…before it gets cold." Castiel said, reaching across the table and taking the cover off of her plate.

Seeing her hesitation Dean smiled, knowing that she was probably trying to figure out if Cas was going to say Grace. As he watched them eat silently he began to wave his hands trying to get Castiel to say something…anything. Ask her if her food is good.

"Um…is your meal satisfactory?" Castiel said, looking at her hopefully.

Dean cringed, but relaxed a bit as Karen reached across the table and put her hand on top of Castiel's. The look on Castiel's face was priceless like her hand was a snake about to strike or something.

"The food is really good. This is all really nice. Thank you, Castiel." Karen said.

"You're welcome, but I am not the one you should thank. I wouldn't have thought to do this." Castiel said, trailing off sadly at the end.

Dean pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration, not wanting Castiel to steer the conversation his way. Trying to get Castiel's attention he motioned, but Cas was looking at her and not paying attention.

"It's OK, Cas. You had a serious head injury; it's understandable if you forget things."

Removing his hand and placing it in his lap Castiel said, "No, it's not something I would have thought of before. I'm just not very good at being…human."

Dean knew his sharp intake of breath would be heard, but it was done and he mouthed forcefully doing the right thing.

"I'm sorry, I should have said I wasn't very good at…doing the right thing." Castiel whispered.

"Relax, Cas. I'm not going to bite you." Karen said, and Dean grabbed his face with his hand.

Castiel looked up and met her gaze again and said intently without looking at Dean, "I know. I'm aware that you aren't a v-"

Not knowing what else to do since Castiel wasn't looking Dean slid to the floor, thumping it hard with his hand to draw attention to himself before Castiel said vampire. He tweaked his ankle again on the way down so he didn't have to act as he writhed on the floor in pain.

"Sorry" Dean grunted. "Was trying to get up to go to the bathroom and I slipped."

Karen came over and threw his arm over her shoulder and helped him up and back to the bed, fixing him with a knowing stare. Dean resisted the urge to laugh and she jumped when she turned to find Castiel standing closely behind her.

"He's really good at that whole ninja thing…always has been." Dean said with a snort.

"That's IT! No more Cyrano de Bergerac…no more coaching." Karen yelled.

Dean rolled his eyes and rubbed his face with both hands, finally looking at her apologetically and shrugging. Thinking it was all over Dean was surprised when she grabbed Castiel by the shoulders and kissed him rather forcefully on the lips. Trying not to feel like a voyeur he watched as Castiel relaxed into the kiss after a few seconds. When Castiel's crutches clattered to the floor and he began to hop toward the couch with his arms around Karen's waist Dean knew it was time to get the hell out and let things happen.

Grabbing his crutches he made for the door as quickly and quietly as possible. The last thing he heard as the door closed behind him was Karen saying, "You haven't done this before have you?"

Once outside Dean debated what to do. With his ankle messed up driving was out of the question unless he used his left foot, so he went to the office to get another room for the night.

"I thought it was the other guy that was on crutches." the girl at the desk said as Dean entered the office.

"Well I had a little accident so now it's both of us. You got another room I can get for the night?"

"Why? You lovers have a fight?" she said, smirking at Dean.

First they think Sam and I are gay…now Cas? Sheesh. "Hell no, he's on a date…with a GIRL. I thought I'd give them some privacy." Dean said, looking at her and daring her to say anything else.

After a second she looked down and tapped at the keys on the computer. "We have several rooms on the second and third floors, but the elevator is out so I assume you want something down here?"

"Well…yes." Dean said, gesturing down at his ankle in irritation.

"The room next to yours is the only one free down here." She said, sliding the key card across the desk.

Dean snatched the key off the desk and slid it into his back pocket and threw a thank you over his shoulder as he retreated to his room. I hope the walls aren't too thin. After settling uncomfortably onto the bed and realizing that he had no booze and no painkillers he switched on the TV and began to flip though the channels. Not finding anything he wanted to watch he turned it off and immediately wished he hadn't. The walls were rather thin.

"Ummmm…ah…yes. That's…yeah." he heard Karen say.

He was going to need some brain bleach in the morning if he heard much more. There was silence for a while and Dean felt himself straining to get closer to the wall so he could hear more, then shook his head and settled back on the bed. Just as he relaxed he heard the growl of Castiel's gravely voice.

"MMmmm, that feels…huh…ummmm.

Dean grabbed the pillow on the other side of the bed and covered his face with it, wanting but not wanting to hear any more. The pillow did nothing to stop the sound of Karen moaning rather loudly…then he heard something he thought he never hear in a million years.

"Castiel….ah…hmmmmm…oh GOD!"

Pushing the memory of Castiel declaring himself the new God out of his mind he smiled slightly, knowing that Castiel was finally getting laid. His mission was accomplished, just a little later than he intended the night they went to the brothel. The next thing that came through the wall had him smiling like the Cheshire Cat.

"Kar…en…ah…ughhhhhh…ah…umph…oh, Guh…ah!"

His angel was finally a man. Dean closed his eyes and began to drift off to sleep feeling strangely satisfied himself as the room next door became suddenly quiet again.


	9. The Morning After

Castiel awoke for the first time since he fell without the sickening jolt of wondering where he was or what had happened to him. Even the constant pain that he associated with being human because of his injuries was less than he was accustomed to. The warm comfortable feeling of another human body cradled in his arm was new, but nice. As Karen snuggled up closer to him he opened his eyes and a soft smile crossed his lips as he watched her burrow her head into his neck. It wasn't light out yet, so he sank further into the pillows and closed his eyes, drifting off to sleep again as he pulled her tighter to him.

When the morning sun started peeking through the curtains, Castiel felt something pushing against his sore ribs and shifted closer to the edge of the bed. Easing his head up, he could see that Karen had moved away from him and was now spread eagle across most of the bed…apparently having pushed him with her foot since it was somehow the closest part of her to him. Sleeping was something new of course, and he was fascinated by the positions humans seemed to get themselves into while doing it. He had taken to sleeping mostly on his side, but the massive cast on his leg sort of put a damper on much experimentation beyond that.

Slipping his hands behind his head in a gesture he had seen Dean do often, he watched the gentle rise and fall of Karen's back as she continued to sleep. He felt a slight tug at his heart as he thought again of the short time she had left. The last ounce of his grace had allowed him to see it for some reason, but what he had not told Dean was that he knew the exact day, time, place, and reason for her death…and it was not going to be the cancer that killed her. He and Dean had screwed destiny more times than he could count, but he wasn't sure if they should intercede this time. It was just one human life, not the fate of the world after all…and Dean's day of subbing for Death had taught him a lesson that would probably stop him from helping. They had time though, so maybe it was something he would at least talk to Dean about.

With a sigh Castiel pushed the sad feelings away and thought back to the previous night. As a human his only thought was Damn, that was good. As a former Angel his thoughts were more along the lines of How could they make such a beautiful thing into porn? He supposed his one experience was hardly enough to draw any firm conclusions of an Angelic nature, so he settled on recalling the new physical sensations that the evening's events had introduced him to.

He closed his eyes and hummed softly as he replayed everything in his mind. He was gently prodded from his reverie when he felt a hand slide across under the covers. He opened one eye to see Karen looking playfully at him as she ran her fingers softly up his thigh and up to tease his dick. An inhuman moan escaped his lips as she continued her ministrations and he rolled over to kiss her gently.

"So, Mr. Not a Virgin Anymore…how was it?" Karen asked as she withdrew from the kiss, taking a rather firm hold of his throbbing erection.

"I-uh-ah can't…talk when you are…guh…doing…ssssss…that." Castiel choked out.

"Would you like me to stop?" Karen said, before going down on him.

As her mouth closed around him Castiel decided that sex was among the more wondrous of his Father's creations and any further revelations of an Angelic nature could wait until after the human experimentation was concluded.

"Hell no." Castiel said, realizing why humans tended to use such words to add emphasis at times like these.

Her tongue played over him in ways he could not actually believe were humanly possible and he writhed under her, feeling the sensations all the way down to his toes. When she started humming and running her teeth gently up and down he was convinced that it simply couldn't get any better. But it did. She sat up and kissed him deeply and then ran her fingers along his lips and inside his mouth. He sucked at them greedily, wondering why she had apparently forgotten his lower half. He found out in short order as she removed her fingers and continued slicking them up with the leakage from his throbbing erection.

When her hand disappeared again he looked at her quizzically and she leaned in for another kiss before saying softly, "Go with me on this. It might hurt a little at first, so stop me if you aren't comfortable with it?"

"Ummm…OK?" Castiel said, not knowing what to expect.

Castiel's eyes went wide as he felt her fingers enter him and his muscles tensed as she worked her way to the right spot.

"Just relax…the good part is coming." Karen said before returning her mouth's full attention to his dick.

Humming softly she deep throated him and the sensations crawling all over his body made Castiel completely forget that he was in any pain anywhere. A few strokes in the right spot and he decided that the orgy story Dean had told him about one night in a drunken confessional from his future visit might not be so repulsive an idea after all.

As he came she swallowed him down and he grasped at her desperately as she helped him ride out his orgasm. There were no sounds this time, as he found himself so breathless he was unable to make any. As the last spasm shook his body he let out the breath he hadn't realized he had been holding in a whoosh.

Castiel shuddered and took a deep breath before saying, "K-Karen…please do that to me again sometime."

She kissed him softly and flopped over on the bed. "I was wondering if I was doing something wrong. You didn't make any noise."

"N-no…I couldn't. You rendered me mute." Castiel said, smiling at her briefly before collapsing back on the pillows.

"Well I hate to break up the party, but I have to be at work in an hour. I'll be on the Life Flight detail this week so I won't be around as much." Karen said, kissing him softly before springing out of the bed.

"I would say don't go, but I'm fairly certain I will need another night's sleep before I can get up." Castiel said, trying to ignore the fact that he really needed to pee as he watched her walk to the bathroom.

"Well I know you need to pee, so get up and join me in the shower. "We can say goodbye in there and I think I'll have introduced you to enough ways of having sex that the girl that comes along after me will be impressed with your prowess." Karen said, grabbing the water proof cover for Castiel's cast from the edge of the tub.

"I think I'll need more practice before I will consider myself accomplished." Castiel said, looking at her hopefully as she pulled the cover up and helped him sit up.

"I think I can help you with that." Karen said, winking as she handed him his crutches.

Castiel quickly came to the conclusion that shower sex put any other kind of sex to shame, and was fairly certain that he would never look at a shower the same way again. Although his cast made it difficult to do all of the things that Karen seemed to want to do, they managed to find a way without doing bodily injury to either of them. When she was still at it 30 minutes later he was beginning to wish Dean would make an appearance. His good leg was throbbing from trying to keep himself upright in the slippery shower and he was convinced that he could not possibly come again in his entire human lifetime if he wanted to.

Gently lifting her head from where it was working on him yet again he looked at her with pleading eyes. "C-can we stop now? I think I'm in need of some rest."

"I'm sorry, Cas. I got a little carried away…I guess I'm trying to have enough sex for a lifetime all in one day." Karen said, her eyes taking on a far away look.

"Don't apologize. I'm sure I could…um…keep up with you were I not injured. I understand." Castiel said, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into a tight hug.

Her shoulders began to shake and Castiel realized she was crying. If there was one thing Castiel was less comfortable with than sex at this point, it was emotional humans, and he had no idea how to react. He was fairly certain he knew why she was crying, but uncertain if he should try to get her to stop or just let her cry. He settled on letting her cry, at least for the moment, concentrating on the feel of the water pouring over them rather than the fact that he was going to have to do something soon.

He was rescued when Karen looked up at him and sniffed before she said simply, "Thank you."

"For what? I didn't do anything." Castiel said, looking down at her curiously.

"Exactly…you didn't stop me…or try to talk me out of crying. Everyone seems to want me to be perpetually cheerful and I can't. It's just nice to know I can cry on someone's shoulder." she said as she grabbed a towel began to dry him off.

Castiel was glad that he had done the right thing, but he still wasn't sure he knew exactly what he had done right. Saved by indecision. When she reached his nether regions he felt a slight stirring, but pushed the sexual thoughts to the back of his mind. The last thing he wanted was for her to think he was ready for sex again. The exhaustion of his night and morning of passion was beginning to wear on him, and all he wanted to do was sleep.

It became apparent that the sleep would have to wait when someone began pounding loudly on the door. "That would be Dean I assume? Karen said, as she grabbed a silk robe out of her bag and rushed to open the door.

"Wait!" Castiel yelled at her retreating back as he struggled to get his crutches and move towards the door.

She stopped with her hand on the knob and looked at Castiel quizzically.

"Whoever it is hasn't said anything…Dean would be yelling something either embarrassing or crude I imagine. It could be dangerous." Castiel whispered.

"Why would anyone what to do us harm?" Karen said, reaching for the doorknob again.

"Just let me look first." Castiel said as he finally made it across the room to the window.

He pulled the curtain back slightly and was shocked to see a carbon copy of himself standing outside the door dressed in his old uniform of trench coat, suit, and slightly askew tie. If there was any time in the last few weeks he missed his Grace more than this moment he couldn't think on one. He was in no shape to fight whatever it was…Dean wasn't either and the questions this could bring up with Karen were too numerous to think about. With his Grace he could at least discern what exactly was outside wearing his face. The only thing he could think it would be was a Shapeshifter, but they needed contact with the person they were going to impersonate.

"Uh…don't answer it. It's…someone that has been following Dean." Castiel said, while trying to figure out how to get out of the situation without Karen seeing the person outside.

At least she hasn't looked through the peephole. As Castiel hobbled back across the room to the cell phone Sam had brought him earlier in the day she saw Karen make a move for the peephole as the knocking began again and a voice came from the other side of the door.

"Dean Winchester! I know you're in there. Get your ass out here now!"

"Karen….why don't you get dressed. You'll be late for work. I'll take care of it." he said a little too loudly.

"But you are in no shape to deal with someone that could be dangerous." Karen said, finally moving away from the door to touch him gently on the arm.

"I-I know, but I'll take care of it, you just get dressed." Castiel said, mentally breathing a sigh of relief that she was at least away from the door.

Flipping open the phone Castiel dialed Dean's number and waited as it rang and went to voice mail. Where the hell is Dean? He watched as the bathroom door closed and dialed Sam's number next. That also went to voice mail. He was out of options since Sam hadn't programmed Bobby's number in and he didn't remember it.

His only weapon option was the silver knife he had seen Dean put into the nightstand drawer, so he slid it into his pocket before going to the door. Taking a deep breath he opened the door and watched as the entity wearing his face looked at him in disbelief.

"H-How? Who? Wait…is that you Castiel?" the form in front of him said before taking a few steps back.

"Yes, I am Castiel, but who are you?" Castiel said as he moved fully outside to shut the door.

"Jimmy."

"But how? You've been gone from this body for some time now." Castiel said, still on the lookout for any signs that this wasn't who he said he was.

"Hell if I know. I was in Heaven and then I was here. I saw the Impala and went to the desk to tell them I had accidentally hit Dean's car so I could get the room number." Jimmy said, eyeing Castiel the same way Castiel was eyeing him.

"How do I know it's really you and not a Shapeshifter or something we've never encountered before?" Castiel said, knowing from his experience with the Purgatory souls that there were several long banished creatures this could be if any of them escaped their imprisonment.

"Can't you tell? You're a damn Angel after all."

"In case it has escaped your attention, I'm not exactly in possession of my Angelic abilities at the moment." Castiel said, shifting uncomfortably on his crutches and gesturing down at his leg.

"What happened?" Jimmy said, a look of sudden understanding washing across his face.

"Just a little of God's wrath I'm afraid. I'm human now." Castiel said, as he saw the door to the room next door begin to open out of the corner of his eye.

Castiel breathed a sigh of relief as Dean came out of his room and turned to face them.

"Cas, that could be a Shapeshifter. Don't get too close!" He yelled, going for the gun that he had slipped into his waistband but getting tangled up in his crutches.

"I do not believe it is…he says he's Jimmy." Castiel said, a slight smile playing at his lips at Dean's predicament.

"But how the hell can he be here if you are here?" Dean said, finally abandoning his efforts to get the gun out and moving closer.

"I don't know, but can you take him into your room so I can get Karen out of here before she sees him…whatever he is?" Castiel said, cocking his head toward the door.

"Yeah…right. It might be a little hard to explain how you suddenly have an identical twin." Dean said, as he moved back to the door and opened it.

Jimmy took one last look at Castiel and shook his head before turning to go into Dean's room. Once he and Dean were safely inside he turned to see the other door opening and Karen emerging. Taking a deep breath he smiled at her and waited for her to approach.

"So where did he go?" Karen said, looking around for the man in question.

"Taken care of. Dean was apparently in the room next door last night and heard the commotion. They have gone inside to discuss their…um…differences." Castiel said, wishing he could have come up with a better answer.

"He sounded pretty mad, are you sure Dean will be OK?"

"Yes, it was a slight misunderstanding. Now let's get you on your way to work so I can go see if Dean needs any assistance." Castiel said, reaching out to touch her arm.

"I don't really want to go. I could call in sick…wouldn't be much of a stretch." Karen said, looking up at Castiel hopefully.

"While the prospect of spending the day with you is very inviting, I think I will be asleep very soon and watching me sleep wouldn't be very enjoyable for you." Castiel said, knowing that sleep probably wasn't in his immediate future even though he very much wanted it to be.

"You said Dean heard the commotion. I wonder what else he heard?" Karen said, giggling slightly as she moved toward her car.

Castiel cast a puzzled look on her as he followed before realizing what she meant and then he felt a blush creep across his cheeks. "Um…I'm hopeful he didn't hear anything, but I highly doubt it."

When they got to her car Castiel leaned down to kiss her goodbye, but hesitated and drew back when he saw Dean and the man calling himself Jimmy looking out the window with big grins on their faces.

"What's wrong?" Karen asked, following Castiel's eyes to the window just as Jimmy ducked down.

"We are being observed. I did not wish to embarrass you publicly." Castiel said, swallowing down the panic that rose in his throat as he considered the teasing he was likely to get later based on Dean's previous behavior when Sam was known to have had sex.

"Oh screw them. They're just being juvenile!" Karen said, taking Castiel's crutches and leaning then up against the car before kissing him hungrily.

Castiel hesitated slightly and then threw his arms around her…returning the kiss with every ounce of strength he had left. He knew he would probably regret it later, but at that moment he really didn't care. When Karen finally withdrew and began to get into the car Castiel leaned against the car heavily for a second before he could speak.

"How…I mean…when will I be able to see you again?" Castiel said, looking at her hopefully.

"I have a long shift today and depending on the flights in and out I may get stuck somewhere out of town. I'll call you tonight and let you know."

"There may be no need. I suspect that I may die of embarrassment in the next hour or so." Castiel said, dreading his return to the room.

"You'll be fine. Dean will run out of things to tease you about by lunchtime…maybe…um I mean probably." Karen said, reaching out to squeeze his hand and smiling up at him.

"I hope you are right." Castiel said before retrieving his crutches and turning to go back into the room.

He stopped halfway and turned back to watch her go…returning the wave when she threw her hand out the window before pulling out of the parking lot. Once she was out of sight, he turned back to see Dean and Jimmy blocking his way to the door.

"So Casanova…you have a good night last night?" Dean said, smirking slightly.

"I believe the man to your right is more important at the moment than my nocturnal activities." Castiel said, unsure how to respond directly to the question.

"True, but I tested him while you were…um…otherwise occupied. I'm certain it really is Jimmy."

"But I don't understand why he is back and how both of us have his body." Castiel said, furrowing his brow as he looked at Jimmy.

"Well Anna got her human body back when Michael torched it…if that could happen this could too." Dean said, looking back and forth between them.

"How do we explain it…and better yet is he safe?" Castiel said, thinking back to the near disaster that occurred when he was taken back to Heaven.

"You've been safe so far. I'd think if anything was coming after either one of you we'd know it by now."

"True, but what do we do with him?"

"Take me home?" Jimmy said hopefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I figured as long as I was "fixing" things I might as well fix the Jimmy situation too...so it's Team Free Will + One now.


	10. Jimmy Joins the Team

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yes there's a lot of discussion here between Castiel and Jimmy while they are at the hospital with Dean. I know that probably would have been difficult given the subject matter with all the people around, but I wanted to move the story along and get this discussion out of the way out of Dean's earshot so that's where they ended up…just imagine a lot of furtive looks! Dean's POV at first then shifts (hopefully so subtly you won't notice) to Castiel's once they are at the hospital out of necessity.

Dean looked back and forth between Castiel and Jimmy. He had been amazed by how different they were when he had seen Jimmy before, but with both of them in front of him it was even more obvious that Castiel definitely brought his own personality and bearing to Jimmy's body. It was hard to put into words, but Jimmy was so light and airy…even his voice was totally unlike Castiel's. Castiel on the other hand seemed…heavy…with a presence Dean could feel even though he no longer had his Grace. He had thought that presence was gone until this moment, but it was definitely there…a thousand times less than before…but still a softly thrumming undertone to the earthy noises around him.

Dean shook his head and shifted on his crutches, not really sure what to do at this point. He knew what happened last time Jimmy went home, so he wanted to be more careful and think things out this time.

"Cas, you take Jimmy inside and let me check out of this other room. I'll be right back." Dean said, turning towards the office.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Jimmy move towards Castiel and place his hand gently on Castiel's back as if to help him back into the room. It was obvious that Castiel's special night and this morning events had left him tired and Dean began to worry that it would be too much for him in his weakened condition. There wasn't much he could do about that now though, so he hurried to return the key and get back to the room.

By the time he had returned Castiel was sitting at the table and Jimmy stood looking intently over his shoulder at the laptop Sam had left for them to use the previous afternoon. Dean was surprised that Castiel was the one doing the typing instead of Jimmy.

"Wow, Cas. Researching already. I'll make a good hunter out of you yet!" Dean said, proud that Castiel had already started looking into things.

"We were just looking up information on Amelia and Claire. For all I know Ames is already involved with someone else and has moved away. I don't even know if I have a home…much less if I can go there." Jimmy said, looking up at Dean morosely.

Castiel continued to type and without looking up said, "I highly doubt that Father would bring you back if he didn't intend for you to be reunited with them."

"What if it wasn't God?" Dean said, groaning as he moved toward the table slowly to avoid jostling his throbbing ankle.

"I don't know Dean, I'm unsure what our next move should be." Castiel said, sitting back and looking up at him.

"Well I do know one thing. After what happened last time I'm not going anywhere near Amelia and Claire until we know for sure they'll be safe. I'll stay right here for the rest of my life if that's what it takes to keep them safe." Jimmy said as he pulled out the chair beside of Castiel and sat down heavily.

Castiel looked at Jimmy thoughtfully and said quietly, "I'm truly sorry, Jimmy. If I had known then what I know now I would have found another way to interact on earth. I never meant to destroy your family."

"It wasn't your fault Cas. I know you were under some questionable orders at the time. I saw that much when I was your vessel. As long as Ames and Claire are happy that's all I care about now." Jimmy said, placing his hand gently on Castiel's shoulder.

"They may be happy now, but I inflicted so much heartache on them. Leaving them wondering where you were for a year, and nearly getting them killed when I was taken back to Heaven for punishment. I understand that now…now that I am human too." Castiel said, burying his face in his hands and sighing loudly.

Dean shrugged as Jimmy looked at him, not really sure what to say. He could see things from both points of view, and he knew if he was Jimmy he'd probably be pissed as hell, yet Jimmy seemed to be very calm and forgiving about the whole thing.

Jimmy smiled, obviously reading what Dean was thinking. "Dean, I know you probably don't understand why I'm not mad at him. You have to remember I was in there. Every time things went to hell in a hand basket he did his best to shield me from it, sometimes endangering himself in the process. The simple fact that I functioned normally when you found me in that warehouse is a testament to the care he took with my body. I should have been dead right then and there, but he was protecting me even as they ripped him out."

"And the two times he got you blown up?" Dean asked sarcastically.

"Didn't feel a thing. It was actually quite interesting watching my body explode." Jimmy said, giggling slightly.

Castiel looked up at Jimmy and rolled his eyes. "I can't believe you found that interesting."

"I'd venture a guess that there are very few people that can say they've seen themselves get blown up and live to tell about it." Jimmy said, smiling at Castiel.

"I believe you are the only one. But you didn't survive the second time…I wasn't ready for that one and I couldn't protect you." Castiel said, looking at Jimmy curiously.

"Yet here I am…you have a body…I have a body. To paraphrase Vonnegut…everything is beautiful and nothing hurts!" Jimmy said, running his hand down his chest.

Dean rolled his eyes and groaned as he finally sank down onto couch, glaring down at the softball sized lump that used to be his ankle. "Speak for yourself about the hurting part. I beg to differ on that."

"As do I." Castiel said, rapping his knuckles on his cast and smirking at Jimmy.

"OK so we have a little hurting going on…but I was dead and now I'm not. Come on…let me revel in that a little?" Jimmy said, pouting slightly.

"Yeah, OK. I guess you do have a little something to be happy about." Dean said, wincing as he pulled his foot up onto the arm of the couch.

"Dean, you still need to go to the hospital to have that looked at. You promised." Castiel said with a concerned look.

"Well, I would have but this morning didn't exactly go the way I had planned. I was looking forward to a morning of teasing you about last night before I went to the hospital and then Jimmy here drops in out of nowhere. My grand plan was shot to hell before it even got started."

Castiel snorted softly and looked at Jimmy before saying, "My eternal thanks for short circuiting the teasing portion of his morning plan."

Jimmy doffed an imaginary hat and bowed dramatically. "You are most welcome…although I'm sure he will get around to it eventually."

"I fear that he will." Castiel said, pursing his lips and glaring at Dean.

"Hell yes I will, but I think I better go soon. This thing hurts like a bitch." Dean said, shifting uncomfortably.

"We don't have a driver. We'll have to call Sam or Bobby I guess." Castiel said nervously.

"I can drive. I guess my license is expired…wherever it is, but maybe they won't stop me if it isn't too far." Jimmy said, his eyes lighting up.

"Hell no…you aren't driving my baby! Dean said, trying to raise up to give his statement more emphasis, but wincing and falling back when his ankle complained.

"Why not? I'm not Castiel. I know how to drive." Jimmy said, sticking his bottom lip out in a fake pout.

"Who said I didn't?" Castiel said, glaring at Jimmy.

"OK, OK. Jimmy can drive. I guess it's the best option." Dean said, fishing his keys out of his pocket and throwing then as hard as he could at Jimmy.

Jimmy caught them deftly one-handed and smirked at Castiel.

"Jeez, I think we can definitely pass you guys off as twins…you're like a cautionary tale of sibling rivalry already." Dean said, snorting as he rose from the couch and headed for the door.

"I think I should probably put some more clothes on." Castiel said, sliding his hand across his bare chest and gesturing down at the sweatpants he had struggled into when Jimmy knocked at the door.

"Might be a good idea…wouldn't want your lady friend to back you up against the wall when we get there." Jimmy said, winking at Dean. Dean then winked at Castiel and pursed his lips in a mock kiss.

Castiel blushed and glared at both of them with his you should show me some respect look before grabbing his crutches from the floor and heading for his duffle. Dean was glad Castiel was powerless at that moment, because he was fairly certain both of them would be smoldering piles of ash on the floor if he had any mojo left. The thrum that Dean had felt earlier seemed to get more intense for a second, and Dean wondered if there was more Angelic power left in Castiel than even Cas knew.

Castiel turned back to Dean with wide eyes and then looked down quickly. It didn't escape Dean's attention that Castiel felt it too. Jimmy seemed oblivious, so Dean didn't say anything else as he watched Castiel pull on a t-shirt and run a comb through his unruly hair.

Dean winced as he watched Jimmy slide into the driver's seat of the Impala and slide the key into the ignition. The fact that he was dressed in Castiel's old clothing made it slightly surreal. With Castiel safely in the backseat and Dean riding shotgun Jimmy backed out of parking space and maneuvered through the rows of cars until he was at the exit.

"Which way?" Jimmy said, looking over at Dean.

"Oh yeah…um you don't know anything about this area do you? Go right."

"Not like I've ever been here before…I'll need a little help."

"Just don't hurt my baby or I'll have to kill you." Dean said, looking as menacing as possible.

Jimmy pulled slowly out onto the highway and then floored it with a grin and wink at Dean. Dean slowly released his death grip on the arm rest as they sailed down the road, enjoying the feel of the air rushing through the window once he saw that Jimmy was a pretty good driver. Dean watched as Jimmy deftly wove the car in and out of traffic, still somewhat unnerved by the trench coat formerly worn by Castiel driving his car.

"Um Jimmy…I think once we are done at the hospital we need to go get you some clothes. The whole suit/trench coat thing is a little…um…weird." Dean said, glancing back at Castiel.

"I would also like that. It is rather strange for me as well." Castiel piped up from the back seat.

"Not a problem. Not like I enjoy wearing this monkey suit. I just…well…I just wanted to put on my best when I went outside to talk to you that night. I thought it was important." Jimmy said, glancing back at Castiel in the rearview mirror.

An awkward silence settled over the car and Jimmy drove on with Dean pointing when they reached the hospital parking lot. Jimmy went inside to get a wheelchair, leaving Dean and Castiel alone in the car.

"So Cas, what do you think? Is he safe going home?"

"I really don't know Dean. You were right in asking whether God was the one that brought him back." Castiel said, looking at his hands studiously.

"How do we figure that out?" Dean asked, wondering why Castiel's eyes suddenly went wide.

"Um…we have a different problem." Castiel said, pointing to Jimmy coming back across the parking lot with Karen following closely behind.

"Oh shit, we told her you were my brother and that your name was James Castiel Winchester. I hope Jimmy doesn't tell her his real name. People name twins weird things, but two named James is probably stretching it and if he tells her his last name we are toast. I didn't even think about running into her. I'm an idiot."

"I was hoping to see her, but it didn't occur to me that Jimmy would pose a problem. I guess I'm an idiot too." Castiel said, his eyes following Karen to the door of the car fearfully.

Castiel carefully avoided her eyes until he couldn't any more and then he shifted them to Jimmy who flashed an OK sign before going around the car to help Dean into the wheelchair while whispering something in his ear.

"So just how many more Winchesters am I going to meet?" Karen said, narrowing her eyes at Castiel.

"I-he…that's all. Castiel stuttered out, looking desperately to Dean for help.

"Sorry Karen, Mike here lives in Illinois and we didn't expect him to get here so quickly when we called and told him about Cas being hurt." Dean said quickly.

Castiel sagged visibly in relief and reached for Karen's hand. "I'm sorry I should have told you, but it just didn't come up last night."

"There were other things coming up last night, so I can see where you might have been distracted." Karen said with a sly smile at Castiel.

Castiel blushed, Dean breathed a sigh of relief, and Jimmy rolled his eyes as he began pushing Dean toward the Emergency Room doors.

Castiel followed Karen in and flopped into the nearest chair, totally exhausted and wishing he was anywhere but here as Jimmy went with Dean back to the exam room. Karen kissed him gently on the cheek and put her arm around him as she sat down.

"You look tired, Cas. All this a little too much for you?" Karen said, looking at Castiel worriedly.

"You have no idea." Castiel said, immediately wishing he could take the words back.

"Why? Aren't you excited to see Mike?"

"Yes, but…um…we didn't part on the best of terms. I'm not sure what will happen." Castiel said, hoping to be as vague as possible.

"You seem to have that problem with most of your family, Cas. What's the deal?"

"I-it-I don't know. It's just one of those situations where things are said and done that pile up until there is no way out other than familial Armageddon." Castiel said, touching just enough on the truth to convince himself he wasn't lying again.

"Well everyone seems to be getting along so far. Hopefully you can get things back on track now." Karen said, smiling at Castiel and placing her hand on his.

"Yes, I hope so. It would be nice if everything could work out for everyone." So I won't feel so guilty. Castiel said, rubbing his face with his free hand.

"Well I'd love to stay here and keep you company, but I have to get back to work. Will you be OK here alone?"

"Yes, I'll be fine. Thank you." Castiel said, kissing Karen longingly and wishing he could escape into her arms back at the hotel and ignore everything that was happening.

He watched her walk and away and saw Jimmy coming back out. He stopped and spoke to Karen for a second, then smiled in Castiel's direction as she hugged him goodbye. For a moment, Castiel felt something he hadn't felt before…a feeling he didn't like. Watching Jimmy walk back in his direction the feeling deepened.

"So…that's some girl you got there Cas." Jimmy said as he sat down.

"So everyone tells me. It's not like I have any basis for comparison." Castiel said, fidgeting with his crutches nervously.

"Well I think she's great. Nice and pretty…and obviously smitten with you." Jimmy said, nudging Castiel with his shoulder.

"Then why did she hug you? Next thing I know she'll be falling for you because you're more experienced and not a total idiot about all things human…and you aren't damaged." Castiel said with a resigned look on his face.

"It was just a friendly goodbye hug. Nothing you need to worry about. Wait….you're jealous aren't you?" Jimmy said as he realized why Castiel was so sullen all of a sudden.

"I-I don't know. I've never felt jealously before." Castiel said quietly.

"Cas, people fall in love with other people for a lot of reasons. Just because I look like you doesn't mean she'll like me better because I'm not hurt like you are. Looks aside we are two totally different people. Hell, I don't even sound like you and we are…or were using the same vocal chords." Jimmy said, smiling brightly to try to cheer Castiel up.

"I seriously doubt the timbre of my voice will sway her one way or the other if she wishes to be with someone less…awkward." Castiel said, pulling at a stray thread on his t-shirt.

"She only has eyes for you Cas. Take my, as you say, more experienced opinion on that. I couldn't pry her away from you with a crowbar if I wanted to." Jimmy said, placing his hand on Castiel's shoulder and squeezing it.

"Thank you." Castiel said with a sigh.

"Just relax Cas. I know this is all new to you and I'll help you however I can." Jimmy said, settling back into his chair.

"That's what Dean tells me all the time, but I'm not certain I know how to relax."

"I remember some things from when you were in here, Cas. Like when you used to go to your favorite Heaven. You were so relaxed and it even felt good to me. I could feel your relief at being there…of not having to worry about anything for a little while. Just remember that when you get anxious. Come on…think about it right now." Jimmy said, looking around to make sure no one was close enough to overhear.

"I'm just so tired Jimmy. Everything I do takes so much effort now, and the fact that there are so many things I can't even do for myself makes it that much worse. I can't even protect myself…much less Dean. I'm just useless." Castiel said quietly.

"Well there is obviously some reason why you are here like this…and why I am here. I tend to believe it is a good reason."

"Even after all that happened to you? You still choose to believe there is something good in it?"

"There was a time I would have said no, but my time in Heaven gave me a lot of time to think. I wanted to wait until a more private time to tell you this, but it's come up so here goes. I know you think that your civil war was hidden from those of us up there, but it wasn't...at least not for me. I saw what you tried to do….I saw how hard you fought to do what you thought was right. It's my faith in you that tells me everything is going to work out." Jimmy said quietly.

"But how? Our battles were on a different plane. None of the souls in heaven should have been…disturbed." Castiel said, finally looking at Jimmy.

"I don't know, maybe because my body was your vessel, but I saw it all, even…the end." Jimmy said, looking over at Castiel thoughtfully.

"So you know how I came to be this way?" Castiel said, sighing deeply.

"Yes, I know…I watched you fall. I watched you lie there in a crumpled heap, and I could feel your pain. I'm not sure how, but I guided that jogger that found you. She didn't normally take that route, but I managed to change her mind slightly on that particular day. Maybe I had some help…I don't know."

"And since?"

"Nothing until I was deposited on your doorstep this morning. I just prayed constantly that you would be OK."

Castiel was quiet for a moment then met Jimmy's gaze and said, "I still don't understand. After everything I put you and your family through…why would you care what happens to me?"

"Don't get me wrong Cas, there are still times when I wish I had never said yes, but I did and if I'm angry about it now it serves no purpose. Everything I helped you do…all the pain and heartache…it's all for nothing if I don't have faith that it was the right thing to do. The fact that I am here now tells me that I was right to maintain my faith. Maybe I'm going to get another chance." Jimmy said somberly.

Castiel had no time to respond as a nurse came out and called for the family of Dean Winchester. With some assistance from Jimmy, Castiel managed to get his exhausted body upright and hobble over to her.

"The doctor would like to see you. Just go down that hall and take the first right, then it's the third exam room on the left." She said, pointing down the same hall Castiel vaguely remembered being rolled down when he was brought in.

Jimmy grabbed a wheelchair as they went by some in the hall and gestured for Castiel to sit down.

"I don't need it, I can manage." Castiel said, continuing down the hall slowly.

"You may not need it, but I can tell you are totally exhausted. Just sit your ass down and take help when it is offered?" Jimmy said, jogging to catch up.

It was obvious he wasn't going to win this fight, and he didn't have the energy to protest, so Castiel reluctantly sank into the chair and allowed Jimmy to adjust the leg rest for his cast and push him the rest of the way. It wasn't hard to find the room they were looking for since Dean's cussing was audible before well before they reached the room.

"Damn it, it's just a sprain. I don't need surgery." Dean yelled as they entered the room.

"I'm afraid you do Mr. Winchester. It's fractured along an old injury that probably did not receive the attention it needed. If we don't do the surgery it will be very unstable and prone to future injury."

"I don't have time for surgery, just patch it up and let me the hell out of here." Dean said, glaring at the doctor.

The doctor turned as Jimmy and Castiel entered the room. "Can I get a little help here? He won't sign the consent forms."

Castiel panicked a little when all eyes fell on him like he was the most likely candidate in the room to convince Dean he needed the surgery. His ability to convince Dean to do anything was lacking at best given the numerous times he asked one thing and Dean did the exact opposite. He looked to Jimmy with pleading eyes.

When Castiel just sat there looking up at him Jimmy offered his hand and the doctor reached out to shake it. "I'm Michael Winchester and this is Cas. Give us a minute and we'll talk to him."

Once the doctor left the room Jimmy glared at Dean and waited for him to look up. "Dean, don't be stupid. You know if you try to gimp along it'll just take longer for you to recover and you'll be right back in the same position in another hospital somewhere down the road later on. Just get it over with now."

"But we have all this shit going on with you and Cas and I don't have time to be laid up." Dean growled, looking at his traitorous ankle darkly.

"But you're already laid up, so just do it. I'm here and I can look after Cas. You probably won't even be in here a day if all goes well." Jimmy said, glancing over at Castiel in the hope he would contribute something.

"But we need to be researching and figuring out if you can go home." Dean said, trying to scoot himself off the gurney.

Jimmy put a hand on Dean's leg to stop him and said, "It's been this long so a few more days isn't going to hurt me. We still have a lot to find out before I can even consider going home. One less person isn't going to make a difference."

"Yeah, I guess, but you need to know that Sam isn't exactly Castiel's biggest fan these days…neither is Bobby. That may pose some problems if you need their help." Dean said, reluctantly lying back down.

"I'm…aware." Jimmy said simply.

"What do you mean?" Dean said, looking at Jimmy suspiciously.

"Not the time…I'll fill you in later. Now are you going to sign those consent forms or not?"

"Dean, I understand little about human methods of mending injuries…other than my own of course, so if Jimmy thinks you should then please do it?" Castiel said, looking to Jimmy to see if he had said the right thing.

"No…it will heal on its own if I just stay off of it long enough." Dean said, crossing his arms across his chest and pouting.

"I'll call Sam, let's see what he says." Castiel said, fishing his phone out and fixing Dean with a stare.

Dean huffed and rolled his eyes before saying, "OK, OK you win. I'll sign the damn forms…go ahead and call Sam too. He needs to know damn it."

Castiel breathed a sigh of relief as they wheeled Dean out to take him up to surgery once the doctor had gone over the forms and told them what to expect. Taking his phone back out as Jimmy rolled him back out to the waiting area, he steeled himself for the sound of Sam's voice on the other end.

"Sam? It's Cas…tiel. I'm here with Dean at the hospital. The doctor says he needs surgery and they are taking him now."

"I'll be right there. How did you get there…did Karen drive you?" Sam said.

"Um…no…there were some…ah…developments this morning." Castiel said without elaborating.

"Such as?"

"Jimmy."

"You mean Jimmy as in your vessel Jimmy?" Sam said, his voice rising.

"Yes."

"Damn it Cas, you didn't think I needed to know something like that?" Sam yelled.

"I assumed Dean would call if he felt it warranted your attention. All the proper tests were done. He isn't a shapeshifter or any other supernatural beings we can test for."

"Dean let Jimmy drive the Impala?" Sam said with a snort.

"It seemed to be the best of our limited options at the time."

"OK, sit tight and I'll be there as soon as I can." Sam said, still chuckling slightly as he ended the call.

Castiel pocketed his phone and looked back over his shoulder at Jimmy. "Sam will be here shortly."

"Is that going to pose a problem?" Jimmy said with a concerned look at Castiel.

"I-no…I don't think so. He helped me get ready for my date with Karen last night, so at least the initial tension has been broken. He didn't seem to be averse to talking to me…just upset that he had not been told about your appearance."

"Why did he help you instead of Dean?"

"It was my fault Dean got hurt. He fell trying to keep me from falling." Castiel said quietly.

"I'm sure he doesn't blame you."

"He says not…but I can't help but feel guilty. I seem to cause as much trouble as I alleviate." Castiel said, shaking his head.

Jimmy stopped and knelt down in front of Castiel, fixing him with an intense stare. "Cas, without you Dean would still be in hell and who knows what would have happened to other people you saved. Stop beating yourself up."

"They would have sent another Angel had I not been able to raise him. He was too important to the grand plan for any failure on my part to have made a difference. Sam too." Castiel said, avoiding Jimmy's gaze by staring at the wall behind him.

"And if Michael and Lucifer had been able to use them for their battle? If you had failed to stop Armageddon?"

"I-I don't know."

"Yes, Cas you do. They'd both be dead. You did the right thing."

"Maybe then I did, but the Purgatory debacle…all my doing." Castiel said with a rather loud sigh.

"No Cas…you had plenty of help fucking that up too."

"I did?" Castiel said, his brows knitting together in confusion.

"Yes, Cas. Dean didn't support you, Crowley played you, and last but not least God put everything in motion by leading you and your supporters within the holy host to believe that he had chosen you. Maybe he did choose you, but he did nothing to help you determine the right path." Jimmy said, stopping when several people walked by.

"I guess this is not the place to discuss it, but in hindsight I suppose you are right." Castiel said, absently rubbing his temple.

"OK then. Let's go meet Sam and then maybe we can go get something to eat. I just realized I'm starving."

Castiel nodded and Jimmy began to push began him back down the hall. A feeling of panic rose in his throat when he thought about seeing Sam. Without Dean as a buffer how would he react? Maybe Jimmy's presence would be enough to keep anything bad from happening. He shifted uncomfortably in the wheelchair…he didn't want to meet Sam this way.

"Jimmy, stop please. I don't want to see Sam like this."

"Why? Oh…well…yeah I guess he would be rather imposing from down there." Jimmy said, applying the brakes and helping Castiel up.

"He's imposing enough from up here." Castiel said, adjusting his crutches nervously.

"I thought you said he sounded OK on the phone?"

"He did…but if you know everything that happened then you know what I did to him." Castiel said, squaring his shoulders and moving off in the direction of the lobby.

"You sure you're up to it? I'll go meet him by myself if you want and come back to get you."

Castiel stopped and took a deep breath, rocking back and forth on his crutches as he considered Jimmy's offer. "No, I can't avoid him and it's not like I haven't already talked to him. He'll probably be too concerned about Dean anyway."

"We're also in the middle of a hospital Cas. He's not going to flip out and give you a smack down in the lobby with potential witnesses." Jimmy said, touching Cas on the shoulder gently.

"You don't know what was behind that wall…I do." Castiel said grimly.

"Well we don't have a choice at this point so just relax and take it as it comes." Jimmy said, fixing Castiel with his eyes intently.

Castiel shook his head and looked down when the strangeness of looking at an identical copy of himself suddenly hit him and he started to laugh.

"What's so funny?" Jimmy said, narrowing his eyes.

"You don't find it strange…looking at yourself?"

"Well…yes…a little, but the last few years have been "Twilight Zone" strange. Suddenly acquiring a twin…not exactly high on the list of things that would freak me out anymore." Jimmy said.

"I suppose it shouldn't bother me either...I didn't exactly spend a great deal of time looking in mirrors until a few weeks ago." Castiel took a deep breath, then turned and started for the lobby so quickly that Jimmy had to jog to keep up.

"Hey! Gimp boy…slow down. You're too good with those sticks for me to keep up!" Jimmy called after him.

"Need practice to make sure Dean doesn't get the upper hand on me. Looks like we will both be indisposed for a while longer." Castiel said over his shoulder.

"With any luck you'll be rid of them before him…that would be…entertaining." Jimmy said with a smirk.

"Very." Castiel said, slowing slightly to let Jimmy catch up.

Once they reached the lobby Castiel scanned the crowd for Sam. He was easy to spot, since he towered above nearly everyone, but he was looking in the wrong direction. Using that to his advantage Castiel threaded his way through the crowd as quickly as he could and stopped just behind Sam before making his presence known.

"Hello Sam." Castiel said simply.

Sam turned quickly and looked down at Castiel, surprised at his sudden appearance. Just the way Castiel wanted it. A reminder of the friendly Cas…the one that helped…the one that didn't understand personal space.

"Jeez Cas…still good at the Ninja Angel thing I see."

"Apparently it's one of my talents, even like this." Castiel said, smiling slightly at Sam.

"Where's Jimmy?"

"I guess I lost him." Castiel said, turning to see Jimmy trying to get through the crowd.

Being on crutches did have a few advantages, one being that people tended to move out of your way when they saw you coming. Castiel watched as Sam looked back and forth between the two of them once Jimmy made his way over. He had the same look on his face that Dean had. The power Dean had felt…that he had felt...that small echo of his former presence. Does Sam feel it?

Castiel couldn't read Sam's expression as well as he would have liked, but Sam didn't seem to notice anything. Maybe Dean is the only one that feels it? Castiel was just as puzzled as Dean when he first felt it…just as Jimmy arrived. Coincidence? No can't be.

Sam shook his head and reached for the hand that Jimmy offered, shaking it slowly like he was not convinced that it was really him.

"So, Dean is in surgery?" Sam said, withdrawing his hand and looking at Castiel.

"Yes, the surgeon was already here and they had a room so they took him straight up." Castiel said.

"How did they manage to get his consent?" Sam said with a snort.

"They didn't…I threatened to call you."

"I'm surprised he even came here like he promised. The last time he wouldn't even let me take him to the hospital and I had to listen to him gripe about it for two months. That's why he always wears boots…so he can lace 'em up tight to support it. He doesn't think I know, but he also keeps sports tape hidden in his duffle just in case."

An awkward silence descended once the discussion of Dean was out of the way and Castiel shifted uncomfortably trying to decide what to say. He jumped slightly when Jimmy came to the rescue.

"Castiel and I were going to get something to eat. You want to come? It will probably be a while."

"No, I guess I better stay so there is someone here when he gets out of surgery. Maybe we can talk about how you ended up here when you guys get back?" Sam said, with a slightly menacing look at Jimmy.

"Not much to tell…I was in Heaven…then I was in the parking lot at the hotel…end of story. That's as much as I can tell you." Jimmy said, returning the look.

"You can understand why we might be a tad suspicious?" Sam said, softening his expression slightly.

"Of course, but as you can see Dean tested me…holy water in the face and the whole nine yards." Jimmy said, pulling up his sleeve to reveal a cut on his arm from Dean's silver blade without looking away from Sam.

"I'm fairly certain it is him. Anna's body was destroyed and she was able to regain it, so I see no difficulty with Jimmy getting his back if Father so desired."

Castiel looked from Sam and to Jimmy, hoping to see one of them stand down. Sam finally averted his eyes and Castiel stifled a chuckle. Apparently Jimmy was as good at staring down people with those eyes as he was.

Sam pulled some car keys from his pocket and handed them to Jimmy. "Just so Dean won't freak out that you are driving his baby all over town without him. It's the beat up Mustang GT parked near the Impala...and I took the liberty of making you this until you can get a real one."

Jimmy took the proffered items and looked at the fake Driver's License. "Thanks, but it might be hard for Castiel to get in and out of a Mustang with that ton of fiberglass he's lugging around."

"I'll manage. I've gotten a little better at getting around in the last few days. I'm tired of being dumped in the back seat anyway." Castiel said with a huff.

"The top is down…that should make it easier."

Jimmy's eyes lit up. "Oooo, a convertible."

"And a stick…you can drive a stick?" Sam said, smirking slightly.

Jimmy smirked back. "Of course."

Castiel rolled his eyes and glared at them. "If you two are finished with your pissing match I'm hungry."

Castiel suppressed a smile when Sam looked slightly taken aback by his use of profanity.

"OK, you guys get out of here. If you want to go on back to the hotel when you are done I'll stay here and call you when he's out."

"Just so you know, we had to do a little fast talking when Karen appeared, so my name is Michael Winchester if anyone here asks." Jimmy said before motioning for Castiel to head towards the door.

"Not confusing at all" Sam said before shaking his head and heading for the nearest chair.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one is so short, but Season 7 sent my muse into an angst induced coma! I'm hoping that I can get this one going again now that all of the players have been introduced and they will all be in one place for the next little while!

After sliding the passenger seat of the Mustang all the way back and some careful maneuvering Jimmy managed to get Castiel into the small car. His strange day seemed to be getting stranger all the time. The all powerful being that had taken his body for a wild ride was now sitting beside of him, human, and barely able to take care of himself. He was anxious to find out about Amelia and Claire, but he realized that he needed help to avoid putting them in danger. He'd have to be patient this time around.

"So where should we go for lunch?" Jimmy said as he cranked the Mustang.

Castiel shifted uncomfortably in his seat and sighed. "I have no idea. The only thing I've had since…falling is hospital food and whatever it was that Dean had delivered last night."

"I suppose you don't even know what you like. Maybe we could just get a burger?"

"I don't know if you were aware at the time, but I had my fill of burgers under famine's influence."

Jimmy laughed and shifted into first, letting out the clutch slowly and pulling out of the parking space. "I had forgotten that. I was aware. I was just thankful to be fed at first, but eventually it got ridiculous."

"It did. I apologize for that. I should have been able to resist Famine."

Jimmy chuckled as he wound his way out of the parking lot. "Could have been worse. You could have discovered the liquor store then instead of later."

Castiel winced, his hand involuntarily going to his head as he remembered the hangover. "I suppose you are right, neither was a pleasant experience."

"OK, let's find a diner so we can get a bunch of different things. Maybe we can figure out what you like."

An hour later Jimmy had ordered one of just about everything on the menu and the table was covered in food. He watched as Castiel carefully tried every single thing, and then realized he didn't have any money.

Jimmy leaned across the table as the waitress came by to lay the check on the table and whispered to Castiel. "Um…I just realized I don't have any money…I guess whoever raised me forgot that little detail."

Castiel kept chewing the fried chicken he was eating and shrugged before swallowing. "I'm afraid I will be of no help there. Karen gave me some, but carrying it is not a habit I have acquired yet."

Jimmy rolled his eyes and sighed. It would be difficult to pull a dine and dash when one member of the party was at a speed disadvantage. They were already attracting enough attention with Castiel's casted leg sticking out awkwardly in the aisle and of course the fact that they were apparently twins. Add to that the medieval banquet appearance of their table and slipping away unseen would be impossible. People were pointing and staring from every corner of the room.

Jimmy thought back to the night he said Yesand remembered what he had said to Amelia. "God will provide."

Castiel looked up from the bowl of black eyed peas he was devouring and mumbled around his food. "What?"

"It's one of the last things I said to Amelia before I said yes. Sounded good at the time and I guess it applies here as well. A solution will present itself or we will come up with one."

Castiel's only answer was a satisfied hum as he dug into some broccoli with cheese. Jimmy snorted and dug into his own food, deciding that the small problem of having no money could be solved after he filled his growling stomach.

"You'll get fat if you keep eating like that." Jimmy said around the bite of country style steak he was chewing.

"So I've been told."

Castiel's eyes went wide and he stopped chewing abruptly. Jimmy turned to see what had attracted his attention, but saw nothing aside from an older, bearded man in a ball cap coming toward the table. Sifting through the few memories from his time as Castiel's vessel, he vaguely remembered this man being helpful to Cas and the Winchesters. Bobby? Jimmy watched as Castiel tried and failed to disappear under the table.

"I take it you are Jimmy?" Bobby asked.

Jimmy could not read the expression on Bobby's face. He only knew from his observations in Heaven that Castiel had killed Bobby's former girlfriend during his attempt to defeat Raphael. He would have to tread lightly until he figured out how Bobby felt about that. He stood and extended his hand.

"Yes sir. Cas and I were just having some lunch…will you join us?"

Jimmy watched the nervous look that Castiel gave Bobby and just stood there uncomfortably while the stare off occurred. Apparently Castiel's ability to stare down anyone on earth was still intact as Bobby looked away first.

"Yeah…why not? Can't hurt."

Jimmy sat back down and slid over so Bobby could sit down beside of him. After a second of hesitation Bobby stepped carefully over Castiel's cast and sat down.

"So, Cas. I guess we need to talk." Bobby said, looking at Castiel intently.

Castiel looked down at his hands and then back up. "I'm sorry…I didn't intend to kill her. In fact I intended to heal her after we took the blood, but she escaped before I could tell her. I couldn't tell her in front of Crowley. After that I couldn't find her until it was too late. Why do you think I showed up in that alley when I did?"

"If that's true why didn't you tell me before?"

"I thought I would have a chance, but Crowley's defection to Raphael's side took longer than I anticipated and I never was able."

"You intended for Crowley to defect?" Bobby said, looking at Castiel with a softer expression.

"Of course. It was part of the plan all along."

"Well the whole thing was stupid you know."

"Yes, I am…aware of that now, but like Sam and the demon blood I thought I could handle it. I was wrong. I believe you would say Crowley played me like a fiddle."

"Well I'm glad you get that now, but that doesn't help the fact that she's gone."

"Actually she isn't. I don't know where she is, but when I took in the souls I recognized hers and let it go. I was hopeful that she could return to you if she wished. At the very least she has probably found a new host…I made her promise she would find one recently vacated by its human inhabitant as a condition of her release."

Jimmy looked nervously at the people around them, wondering if all this talk of killing and demons was a good idea in public.

Bobby clapped him on the shoulder. "It's OK…this is like the unofficial hunter section of the diner you happen to be sitting in, which is probably why everyone is looking at you like you've got three heads. That's how I knew you were here."

"Any word from Dean?" Castiel said as he hesitantly began to eat again.

"Yeah, Sam called a bit ago and he's out of surgery, awake and bitching about being laid up already. They'll get him up and see if he's OK to go home in an hour or so."

Bobby picked up the check and looked at it, shook his head and pulled out his wallet. "I'll assume that neither of you thought about needing money?"

Jimmy blushed and looked at Bobby. "Yeah, well it isn't like you get sprung from Heaven everyday, and of course my Rain Man twin over there hasn't got the hang of human things yet. Thanks Bobby."

"No problem…and Cas?"

"Yes sir?"

Bobby chuckled at the fact that a former Angel was calling him sir and continued, "Don't ever do anything like that again without coming to one of us for help…got it?"

"Yes, Bobby. I don't think you have anything to worry about though. I would have difficulty staging another Heavenly coup in my current condition."

"And thanks for what you did for Ellie."

"You're welcome. Hopefully she will contact you at some point."

"So Jimmy…have you looked up your family yet?"

"Castiel looked briefly this morning, but we didn't find anything before we ended up at the hospital with Dean."

"Well I'll get started on it when I get back to the house. I guess we need to figure out something as far as living arrangements now that you've arrived. We need to make sure that you are not in danger and take care of the gimp squad. That ain't gonna work at the hotel."

Castiel shifted uncomfortably in his seat and then looked up at Bobby. "I will be fine at the hotel. I can put up some warding symbols. Take Jimmy and Dean. I won't get in your way."

Bobby rolled his eyes and reached out to lay a hand on Castiel's shoulder. "Cas…we aren't going to leave you to fend for yourself. You may be an idjit, but if I kicked people out for being idjits then Sam and Dean would have been out on their asses a long time ago."

Castiel brightened considerably and started eating again, so Jimmy turned to Bobby. "What can I do to help?"

"Well my bedroom is downstairs, so I'll move my stuff out and let Dean and Cas have that room so they won't have to navigate the stairs. Sam is already upstairs in the guest room, so if you don't mind bunking with me we can put another cot in the panic room for the time being."

"Sounds like a plan. I'll take Cas by the hotel to get some of his stuff and drop him off at your place, then you and I can get everything set up before Sam brings Dean home."

Castiel listened intently to the conversation and breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe things were finally going to be OK again. There was the small matter of Karen's impending demise, but he still had a few weeks to bring that up with Dean and now that Dean would be less worried about other things like taking care of him he would have a chance.


	12. Of Dreams and Things we Can't Undo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Castiel finally get to talk about that dream, and some other things both wish they could undo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After a long hiatus I've finally managed to eek out a chapter. Life kinda got in the way and m muse is being spectacularly uncooperative.

After an afternoon of moving Dean and Castiel's belongings from the hotel room to Bobby's place and setting everything up for the makeshift hospital ward Jimmy and Bobby cracked open a beer and sat on the porch steps resting. Dean was safely home from the hospital and sleeping off the anesthesia inside. The tell tale thump of Castiel's crutches on the floor inside told them he was on his way out from inspecting his new home.

Bobby looked up as Castiel stopped and scanned the porch for a place to sit. "Sorry Cas, I don't do much relaxing on the porch. Let me get you a chair."

"Not necessary. I'm fine to stand for a bit. Sitting or lying down all the time is wearing on me."

"I hear that. My old wheelchair is out in the garage though. I'll bring it inside later. You or Dean might prefer that."

"Dean might. I prefer to avoid them if I can."

Bobby took his cap off and wiped the sweat from his forehead. "Did Sam get Dean settled OK?"

"Yes, he's sleeping. Hopefully he'll be in a better mood when he wakes up."

Bobby chuckled and shook his head. "I doubt that. He'll be in a bad mood until he's walking again I'm sure."

Jimmy downed his beer and took a deep breath. "Well, now that I've done my heavy lifting for the day I think I'll go inside and get to work finding out were Amelia and Claire are. Figure out how to tell them I'm back."

Bobby looked up from inspecting a loose board on the steps. "I didn't say anything at the diner because I didn't want anyone to overhear, but you'll need my help on that. I of put them in the hunter version of Witness Protection. You'll find references to them, but they are all planted to throw off anyone that is looking for them."

"Thanks Bobby. It's nice to know you guys were looking out for them when I couldn't."

"Well I can get hold of them, so your only job is to decide what to say."

"Are they….I mean…do you know if Amelia…" Jimmy's voice trailed off, breaking as he mentioned his wife's name.

"Sorry…I don't know. I haven't had any contact since I arranged everything. Figured it was better that way. She knows how to contact me if she needs to, but it might take me a day or so to make contact with her. I made sure I didn't know her final location by letting someone else make the arrangements…just in case. Just let me know when you are ready for me to make the call."

Jimmy rubbed his face with his hands and took a shuddering breath. "Make it. It won't get any easier if I wait. I'm just afraid they have moved on."

Castiel looked up and shot Jimmy a confused look. "You couldn't see them from Heaven?"

Jimmy shook his head sadly. "No, only you. That was the worst part, wondering why…thinking maybe I couldn't see them because they were dead and in their own Heaven."

"They aren't dead. At least they weren't when I could see them…I know that much, but I am uncertain if they have…moved on. That wasn't something I was looking for or concerned about…I didn't realize until I became human that it would be important to you."

Jimmy looked at Castiel thoughtfully. "It's OK Cas. You kept your promise and looked after them. That'sthe important part."

Castiel sighed and shifted on his crutches. "I can't look after them now. I hope they will be OK without my oversight."

Bobby got up and downed the rest of his beer, then squeezed Castiel's shoulder as he walked into the house. "I'll go make the call. I'm sure my guys have their backs…don't worry, Cas."

Jimmy made no move to go inside, leaning against one of the porch railings and staring out at the setting sun. Castiel started into the house as quietly as possible, not wanting to disturb him.

Jimmy looked back and caught Castiel's eye, then inclined his head toward the setting sun. "That's my heaven you know…one long perpetual sunset."

Castiel stopped, wondering why he would state the obvious, then moved over to stand beside him. "I'm aware. Does it have a special meaning to you?"

Jimmy sighed and looked down at the empty beer bottle he was still holding. "The day I realized I was in love with Amelia we had gone to the lake for the day. We sat and watched the sunset and I told her I loved her for the first time. It wasn't the same though…in Heaven."

"Because she wasn't there."

"Well there's that, but even though the one in heaven was always perfect and beautiful I knew it wasn't real."

"You knew it wasn't real? Most in Heaven aren't really aware they are in Heaven. There are exceptions of course…Dean and Sam's friend Ash for example."

Jimmy laughed and turned back toward the house. "Ah yes, Ash. Entertaining young man. He paid me a visit once when he was fine tuning his Angel radar. He was hoping I could help since I used to be an Angel condom."

Castiel looked back toward the sunset and cringed inwardly at the thought that Jimmy wasn't blissfully unaware in Heaven. "I'm sorry"

Jimmy smiled and reached out to place his hand on Castiel's shoulder. "The time for apologies is past. I've got my second chance and that's all I ever wanted. I'm not sorry I said yes."

Castiel hesitantly reached up and placed his hand over Jimmy's. "I'm sorry I asked though. All this would never have happened if I had figured out what was really going on sooner."

"Look Cas…like I told you at the hospital…I'm good. You may be an Angel, but you were just as much a pawn in the whole thing as I was. No hard feelings."

Castiel sighed and watched as Jimmy pushed himself off the porch rail and went into the house, leaving him alone on the porch. He looked out at the fading sunset and marveled at how beautiful it was to human eyes. Even without the colors he could see as an Angel that humans could not, it was in some ways more beautiful to him now than ever before. His friends had forgiven him and he was still alive. Human, but alive. He committed the sunset to memory and turned to go into the house. There was something he would do for Jimmy and Amelia. It wouldn't begin to make up for all he had done to wreck their lives, but perhaps the gesture would be enough somehow.

Everyone had scattered to their own rooms by the time he reentered the house, so he slipped into Bobby's bedroom where Dean lay sleeping. He didn't want to wake Dean, but he wanted to get started on his gift before the brilliant colors of the sunset slipped from memory. He quietly unpacked the art supplies Dean had given him and laid everything out carefully before he started painting. He was so absorbed in his work that he didn't stop until he heard a low moan from Dean in the other bed.

"Cas? What time is it?"

Castiel glanced over at the clock and was shocked to see it was 4 am. "Um…4 am. Did you need something?"

Dean sat up and blinked sleepily at the lamp that Castiel still had turned on. :"Why are you up at this hour?"

"I'm sorry if I woke you. I just had something I needed to do and I didn't notice the time. I'm still not really used to needing sleep."

Dean threw the covers back and glared at the cast on his foot before grabbing his crutches. "S'OK Cas. I need to pee anyway."

Castiel watched as Dean clumped off to the bathroom, still regretful that his fear of Sam had caused Dean's accident in the first place. He glanced back at the painting, wondering why he was even bothering to do it. It was such a small gesture considering all he had done. The reds and oranges burst forth on the canvas, reflected in the lake that he had never seen, but somehow looked familiar. He took a small brush and worked on the figures in the foreground on the blanket. It seemed strange to be painting his own face and as he concentrated on the detailed work he failed to hear Dean's return to the room. He jumped when Dean spoke from just beside him.

"It's beautiful Cas. Is that you?"

Castiel looked up and sighed. "No, it's Jimmy and Amelia. I just…well I thought it was something I could do as a gesture, but now it seems such a small gift for the damage I caused. We aren't even sure if Amelia will want him back."

Dean placed a hand on Castiel's shoulder and squeezed gently. "Just keep working on it, Cas. I'm sure everything will work out for them somehow."

Castiel put down his brushes and closed up his paints as Dean made his way back to the bed. He had been up too long and his leg was beginning to ache. He looked down at his cast and rubbed ineffectively on the outside, wondering if it would ever feel normal again.

Dean smiled and looked at his own cast before swinging his legs back into bed. "It gets better Cas. Won't be long before you are back to normal."

"When does it stop aching? The sharp pain I could deal with, this dull ache is…relentless."

Dean sighed and pursed his lips. "I'll give it to you straight Cas. It might not stop. Just depends on how well it heals, but unless you get your Mojo back it might give you trouble always."

Castiel sighed and pulled himself up into the bed, groaning as his still sore ribs complained. "That's what I'm afraid of. I don't remember what it's like not to hurt somewhere."

Dean huffed a small laugh. "Welcome to the human race. When you lead a life like ours something always hurts or aches. Can I ask you something,Cas?"

"Of course, anything you wish."

Dean took a deep breath and decided to ask about the dream. "That dream I had that first night at the hotel? I was just wondering…I mean it was so real, man. It was like I was in your body or something."

Castiel cocked his head at Dean, wondering if his dream walking power had manifested unbeknownst to him. "What was the dream?"

"I was back in Crowley's place when you went nuclear, and God picked me up by my…your…God I don't know. It was weird."

"God picked you up by your wings and tossed you to earth?"

Dean ran his hand through his hair and sighed. "Ummm yeah. Did that really happen?"

Castiel took a deep breath and flopped down on his pillows, vague flashes of memories dropping into place. "As far as I can remember, yes. I'm not sure why you were dreaming it though. I have no grace to go dream walking."

"Weirder things have happened. What I really want to know I guess…I had these feelings. Like I knew they were yours, but they were mine at the same time. Like you were ready to die…wishing to die."

"I was. I was so ashamed of what I had done and didn't want to face the ones I had harmed. I was ready."

Dean laid back on his pillows as well and then turned to face Castiel. "I hope you don't feel that way now? It seems like all the pieces are falling into place."

Castiel sighed. "At times, yes. I was ready to die, especially in those first days in the hospital. It seems strange now in retrospect that I would even have done those things, but if Father let me live…albeit in such a damaged state then he must have more work for me. I would be remiss in my duties if I didn't keep going."

"It's your life, Cas. Just live it, don't worry about that dick of a Dad you have. You've done enough for him for a lifetime...several lifetimes. We've got your back, whatever happens."

A rush of relief flooded through Castiel and he felt a strange tugging in his gut. Here was the very person he had wronged most telling him it would be OK. It had to be, if his friends had forgiven him. "Thank you, Dean. I will. Perhaps Father put that dream into your head so you could help me, I don't know."

"We'll figure this all out. Find you something to occupy your time. Maybe you can volunteer at the hospital or teach art or something. If your leg heals up OK and you want to hunt with us we'll teach you to shot and all that crap…whatever you want to do. You are just as much family as Bobby. I guess if I had remembered that more when Crowley was playing you I'd have seen what was going on instead of getting mad about it."

Castiel smiled slightly and turned on his side to face Dean. "I made that a little difficult. I'm sorry. I should have asked you for help the first time it occurred to me to do so, but I didn't want to disturb your new life."

Dean winced slightly, thinking of Lisa and Ben, but realized that whatever happened he never would have stayed with them for long. It just wasn't in the cards for him to have that life. "I wish I could go back and never have been in their lives…for real I mean."

"But if you hadn't Ben would have been killed by the changeling. That had nothing to do with their relationship with you."

Dean sat up and stared at Castiel. "You know about that? I mean that was before you made an appearance."

"Yes, I know because all the memories that I wiped from their minds are safely in my head still. I thought perhaps that some day you might want me to put them back. I also made sure they were forever hidden from Demons and Angels."

Dean smiled wistfully. "I loved her enough to let her go. I would never be that selfish again. If somebody wants to be with me they'll just have to take to take the whole package, hunting and all. I don't think doing that to Lisa and Ben was right…because I knew deep down it would never have worked in the long run."

"If it helps, Lisa knew it wasn't going to work. She just wanted to see you happy if even for a short time. She harbored no ill-will against you. She understood."

Dean laid back down and put his hands under his head. "Did she know I really did love her and Ben…just not enough to feel really happy?"

"She knew."

"Thanks, Cas."

"For what?"

"For thinking to save the memories, for protecting them."

"But I was the one that put them in danger. It was my duty to do so. For you and for them. I only regret that I can't put the memories back now."

"It's OK, Cas. It's the thought that counts. You didn't know Crowley would sink that low."

"Yes, I did. I should have known he would do something like that when I told him you and Sam were off-limits."

"You couldn't think of everything. It's all good, Cas."

Castiel thought back over all the bad decisions and sighed, wishing he could also go back and do some things over, but it was what it was. When the sounds of soft snoring indicated Dean had fallen asleep, Castiel reached over and turned out the light. Sleep was elusive, but he knew tomorrow would probably bring news of Amelia and he needed to be rested for whatever the day would bring.


End file.
